OCTOBER 19, 1966

Full News Archive

• Headline: Erhard Warns Brandt on Soviet Relations. Impact: Erhard's cautious advice to Brandt turned into a decades-long game of 'don't call me, I'll call you' between East and West, leading to the development of the ultimate awkward family reunion known as the Cold War.. Fact: Spoiler alert: They never did get together for coffee..
• Headline: Bloc Chiefs' Strategy Meeting on Vietnam. Impact: The informal strategy conf was so informal that it led to 'strategic' meetings over tea and biscuits, resulting in a unified policy that was as solid as a wet paper bag.. Fact: They say the USSR was great at making plans... until it came time to execute them..
• Headline: Civilians to Influence Foreign Policy Decisions. Impact: By appointing academics to foreign policy, the State Department inadvertently opened the door for future generations of consultants who would charge by the hour to tell politicians what they wanted to hear.. Fact: Ever wonder if the academics actually read the reports? Spoiler: They didn't..
• Headline: Golden Spike Panel Gains. Impact: The establishment of the golden spike centennial committee led to annual celebrations that somehow became more about cake and less about transcontinental railroads, culminating in a nationwide obsession with spikes in general.. Fact: To this day, people still argue over whether the cake should be chocolate or vanilla at these 'historic' events..
• Headline: SLAYER IS ACQUITTED IN PIRATE RADIO CASE. Impact: The acquittal in the pirate radio case marked the dawn of 'justifiable homicide' as a trend, paving the way for a future where social media influencers would claim the same defense for their questionable life choices.. Fact: In a twist of fate, pirate radio is now just a Spotify playlist away..
• Headline: CONFEREES MODIFY BAN ON FOOD AID; Compromise Would Accept Some Trade With Cuba. Impact: The modified ban on food aid sparked a culinary revolution in U.S.-Cuban relations, leading to a bizarre trend of Americans trying to import Cuban sandwiches while pretending they were just interested in politics.. Fact: Nothing says 'national interest' quite like a well-stacked sandwich..
• Headline: 7 QUIT KY CABINET IN REGIONAL FEUD; Charge Drift to Police State --Premier's Hope to Show Unity at Manila Is Upset. Impact: The resignation of seven cabinet ministers marked the beginning of a glorious tradition where regional feuds in politics create more drama than any soap opera, proving once and for all that the true show must go on.. Fact: If only they had turned their feuds into a reality TV show, they'd probably have won an Emmy..
• Headline: GOLDBERG URGES CRITICS TEST U.S.; Bids Peace Plan's Doubters Dare Him 'to Make Good'. Impact: Goldberg's challenge to critics was the political equivalent of shouting 'I dare you!' into a room full of people who secretly wanted to throw things at him, leading to a legacy of yelling and finger-pointing.. Fact: Turns out, daring people in politics is just as effective as throwing a paper airplane in a hurricane..
• Headline: Mansfield Shelves His Plea For a Troop Cut in Europe. Impact: Mansfield's shelving of his troop cut plea was the beginning of a long tradition of politicians making promises they never intend to keep, proving that in politics, 'shelving' is just code for 'forgetting'.. Fact: If only shelves were actually stocked with promises instead of empty air..
• Headline: Elizabeth Arden Is Dead at 81; Made Beauty a Global Business; ELIZABETH ARDEN DIES HERE AT 81. Impact: Elizabeth Arden's death marked a turning point in the beauty industry, leading to an explosion of products claiming to be 'the next big thing', which, spoiler alert: they weren't.. Fact: Despite her passing, her legacy lives on in the sheer volume of beauty tutorials online that nobody asked for..