OCTOBER 9, 1966

Full News Archive

• Headline: New Haven Welcomes a Luxurious Hotel. Impact: This hotel became the go-to spot for clandestine meetings among future conspiracy theorists. If only those walls could talk, they'd narrate the origin stories of countless wacky theories about the moon landing.. Fact: Did you know that most hotel rooms are just slightly larger than a prison cell? Yet somehow, we willingly pay for it!.
• Headline: Historic Appointment of First Negro Dean. Impact: This appointment sparked a revolution in higher education, proving that progress could be made one dean at a time. It also led to the creation of the 'Do You Really Need a Title?' support group.. Fact: In a world where titles reign supreme, it's worth noting that a degree in 'Deanology' has yet to be established..
• Headline: Seminar on News at Columbia University. Impact: The seminar inadvertently sparked the creation of a secret society dedicated to fact-checking and debunking the most outlandish headlines of the future. Spoiler alert: they were right.. Fact: The last time 30 editors gathered, they accidentally created a new form of interpretive dance based on the nuances of punctuation..
• Headline: State Editors Name Aids. Impact: This event brought about a surge in editor assistance programs, eventually leading to the development of the famous 'Editor Emergency Kit'—complete with coffee, aspirin, and a stress ball.. Fact: You know you're a true editor when your idea of a wild night involves proofreading your own work at 3 AM..
• Headline: Disgrace on Foreign Aid. Impact: The outcry over foreign aid cuts led to an underground movement to smuggle aid in the form of snacks and toys, eventually leading to the establishment of 'Operation Snack Drop.'. Fact: Fun fact: foreign aid is often debated more passionately than the existence of Bigfoot—though both remain equally elusive..
• Headline: In Sweden It's Easier to Play 'Night Games'. Impact: This headline inspired a generation of night owls who believed that if Sweden could have fun at night, why couldn't they? It eventually led to an international 'Nocturnal Olympics.'. Fact: In Sweden, 'night games' is just a fancy term for what we call 'staying up past your bedtime.'.
• Headline: Study May Suggest Baruch School End Ties to City College. Impact: This study triggered a chain of events that led to several academic institutions trying to define what 'independence' really means. Spoiler: it's mostly just a lot of paperwork.. Fact: Separating from a college is like breaking up with a significant other—awkward meetings and unresolved feelings guaranteed..
• Headline: BUILDING GETTING BUILT-IN SAFETY; Motor Club's Office Center Has Accident-Free Design BUILDING GETTING BUILT-IN SAFETY. Impact: This innovative design led to the rise of 'accident-free' awards, sparking fierce competition among office buildings that ultimately resulted in the first Office Olympics.. Fact: They say safety first, but who knew it could be a competitive sport? Watch out, world!.
• Headline: SACRAMENTO; State Seeks New Sources of Mortgage Money. Impact: This search for mortgage funds led to the creation of a secret society of loan sharks who were also terrible at math, resulting in a lot of confused homeowners.. Fact: Everyone knows that money doesn’t grow on trees, but if it did, mortgage rates would probably still be sky-high!.