OCTOBER 2, 1966

Full News Archive

• Headline: City Halls and School Boards Conflict. Impact: The struggle between city halls and school boards paved the way for endless debates over educational politics, ultimately leading to parents becoming the most overqualified unpaid committee members in history. Fact: Did you know that the most effective way to protect education from politics is to give every student a time machine? Just saying.
• Headline: Drill He Must to Enhance Sound Quality. Impact: By insisting on better sound quality, this headline could be the reason why your neighbor's karaoke nights are now a globally recognized form of torture. Fact: Fun fact: the phrase 'Drill He Must' is actually the battle cry for every parent trying to get their kid to practice an instrument.
• Headline: Malaysian Trade Diplomacy on the Rise. Impact: This trade visit was the butterfly that flapped its wings, ultimately leading to globalization, which means your favorite shirt could be made in a country you can’t find on a map. Fact: Did you know that trade officials have the best frequent flyer miles? They’re basically the rockstars of international relations.
• Headline: DUKE POWER PLAN A BOON TO REGION; $700-Million Hydro Complex to Buoy South Carolina. Impact: The Duke Power plan not only boosted energy for South Carolina but also inadvertently fueled debates about nuclear energy that would turn dinner parties into existential crises. Fact: Did you know that $700 million can buy a lot of light bulbs? Who knew energy could be so expensive?.
• Headline: POLISH REDS TOLD TO 'PURIFY' RANKS; Party Exhorted to Intensify Role as Moral Watchdog and to Expel 'Parasites' Leaders Exhort Poland's Party To Oust Its Unworthy Members. Impact: Purification of the ranks in Poland was a precursor to the modern-day social media purge, where anyone with a hot take gets canceled faster than you can say 'free speech.'. Fact: Did you know that the term 'purge' is often confused with a trendy diet? One is about expunging ideology, the other is about expunging carbs.
• Headline: TIGHT MONEY HITS APPAREL INDUSTRY; Some Producers Stiffening Controls on Accounts. Impact: The tight money situation in the apparel industry led to the rise of thrift shops, which are now the go-to places for hipsters searching for vintage finds and for people looking to feel better about their financial decisions. Fact: Did you know that tight money also refers to your budget when you have more bills than dollars? Fun times!.
• Headline: First Lady; First Lady First Lady. Impact: The mention of the First Lady in the context of Spanish-American literature led to a cultural renaissance, which ironically led to an increase in the number of book clubs that nobody wanted to join. Fact: Did you know that First Ladies have been known to write books? Perhaps to fill in the time between state dinners and dealing with their husbands' political blunders.
• Headline: Nadien Got the Nod From Bernstein. Impact: Nadien receiving the nod from Bernstein likely inspired countless aspiring artists to believe that one compliment could change their entire career trajectory—spoiler, it usually doesn’t. Fact: Did you know that 'getting the nod' is basically the artistic version of getting a participation trophy? Everyone loves a good pat on the back.
• Headline: Consumers Are Getting a Beer Break. Impact: The beer break for consumers led to an explosion of craft breweries, creating a competitive market where every hipster now thinks they can brew better beer than the last. Fact: Did you know that beer is basically the adult equivalent of juice boxes? Drink responsibly, folks!.