SEPTEMBER 25, 1966

Full News Archive

• Headline: Unveiling Tiepolo's Masterpiece Murals. Impact: If those Tiepolo murals had never been shown, who knows? Perhaps modern art would have devolved into a series of stick figures and smiley faces. Thanks a lot, Tiepolo!. Fact: Did you know that 'spectacular' is just a fancy word for 'look at this overpriced art piece that I could never afford'?.
• Headline: Loyalty Screening Fuels Fear in Indonesia. Impact: This loyalty screening created a ripple effect where paranoia became a national pastime. Fast forward a few decades, and everyone’s side-eyeing their neighbors like they’re secret agents.. Fact: Did you know that in some places, loyalty checks are just another term for 'who has the best gossip about their neighbors?'.
• Headline: Savings Banks See Decline in Deposits. Impact: The decline in deposits sparked a frenzy of people stuffing cash under their mattresses—leading to a nationwide spike in home burglaries and a subsequent rise in the DIY security industry.. Fact: Did you know that 66.6 million dollars can buy a lot of candy? Or a very, very small island?.
• Headline: Malaria Wins Round 2; Malaria Wins Round 2. Impact: The ongoing battle against malaria led to increased funding for medical research, which ultimately resulted in a billion-dollar mosquito repellent industry. Thanks, malaria, for the entrepreneurial spirit!. Fact: Did you know that malaria has been a health issue for centuries, proving that some problems just refuse to go away, much like a bad rash?.
• Headline: MOPAC TO CURTAIL EQUIPMENT OUTLAY. Impact: MOPAC's decision to cut back on spending led to more innovative ideas in railway management, eventually giving birth to the 'train of thought'—pun intended.. Fact: Did you know that 'curtail' is just a fancy way to say 'we're too cheap to buy new stuff?'.
• Headline: The Law; On 'Jailhouse Lawyers'. Impact: The rise of jailhouse lawyers changed the legal landscape, leading to a future where everyone thinks they can represent themselves—cue the inevitable courtroom disasters.. Fact: Did you know that jailhouse lawyers often have better odds defending themselves than those who actually graduated from law school? Talk about a plot twist!.
• Headline: Coins; National Body Grows Younger. Impact: By lowering the junior membership age to 11, the organization inadvertently created a generation of coin collectors who would grow up to hoard pennies, thereby influencing the economy one shiny quarter at a time.. Fact: Did you know that the average age of a coin enthusiast is now younger than the coins themselves? Talk about a generational gap!.
• Headline: Detroit Begins Rite of Fall; Public Display of '67 Models Due Soon. Impact: The introduction of the '67 models led to a car culture explosion, with every American suddenly thinking they were an automotive expert. Cue countless backyard mechanics with questionable skills.. Fact: Did you know that the only 'mustang' most people could afford was the one they drew on a piece of paper? Welcome to the American dream!.