JULY 14, 1966

Full News Archive

• Headline: Soviet Tax Exemption Victory in Nassau. Impact: This tax exemption sparks a secret love affair between Soviet diplomats and U.S. tax loopholes, leading to a legacy of questionable financial practices that would inspire countless 'how to evade taxes' workshops worldwide.. Fact: Did you know that the USSR was masterful at finding loopholes? If only they had applied that creativity to their economy instead of just avoiding taxes..
• Headline: AIDE OF TITO LINKED TO A WIRETAP CASE. Impact: The wiretap scandal sends shockwaves through the Yugoslav government, leading to paranoia that influences a generation of spies who think that everyone's out to get them, thus creating a highly imaginative niche market for tinfoil hats.. Fact: Did you know that wiretapping is basically the 'Who's Who' of betrayal? Imagine all the gossip they could have spread if they had just used social media instead..
• Headline: A PARTY STRUGGLE LOOMS IN VIRGINIA; Apparent Victor in Primary Renews Independence Vow. Impact: This primary election shakes up Virginia politics and sets a precedent for future candidates to remember that winning is less about the people and more about who can shout the loudest. It also leads to endless campaign ads that make you question your life choices.. Fact: Did you know that political campaigns are basically the Super Bowl of public service? Minus the halftime show and with way more ads for local lawyers..
• Headline: South African Visits Brazil. Impact: Dr. H Miller’s visit to Brazil sets off a wave of trade agreements that eventually leads to a global avocado shortage, as he inadvertently inspires a generation of hipsters to discover how delicious guacamole can be.. Fact: Did you know that trade missions are just fancy ways for politicians to travel overseas on your dime? No wonder they never want to come back!.
• Headline: Brown to Quit Football Today In Favor of a Career in Movies. Impact: Brown's switch to movies creates a ripple effect that transforms professional sports into a breeding ground for celebrity drama, ultimately leading to the current state of social media influencers who once played sports and now just play themselves.. Fact: Did you know that many sports stars transition to acting? Because apparently, being able to throw a ball isn't enough; you also need to throw in some melodrama..