JULY 12, 1966

Full News Archive

• Headline: Crop Outlook Predicts Stable Food Prices. Impact: Little did they know, this decision to keep food prices stable led to a global obsession with avocado toast, which would eventually result in a millennial crisis about home ownership.. Fact: In a surprising twist, this headline didn’t mean we’d all be eating ramen for the next decade. Spoiler alert: ramen sales soared anyway..
• Headline: U.S. Regrets Program Cancellation Announcement. Impact: This cancellation set off a chain reaction that led to an existential crisis in U.S. diplomacy. Who knew saying 'sorry' could lead to a thousand diplomatic faux pas?. Fact: Ironically, the U.S. has since perfected the art of regretting decisions—just ask any politician..
• Headline: Greece Moves to Outlaw Pro-Red Group. Impact: Outlawing this group set off a series of protests that sparked interest in youth activism, ultimately leading to the rise of modern social movements. Thanks, Greece, for kickstarting the revolution!. Fact: It turns out banning things usually makes them more popular. Just ask any teenager..
• Headline: U.S. Athletic Official Will Go To Soviet to Try to Salvage Meet; Americans Are Not Hopeful Russians Can Be Induced to Change Their Mind. Impact: This desperate plea for a sporting event led to the Cold War becoming a literal race. Who knew running could be so political?. Fact: If only they had offered the Russians pizza, they might have reconsidered. Everyone loves pizza..
• Headline: PEKING RESTRICTS FOREIGNERS' TRIPS; Visa Move Linked to Purge U.S. Further Relaxes Passport Regulations PEKING RESTRICTS FOREIGNERS' TRIPS. Impact: This restriction on foreigners ironically made China a hotspot for 'mystery tourism,' where people flocked to see what they were missing out on. The irony was almost as thick as the fog.. Fact: Two professors committing suicide? A grim reminder that sometimes, political purges aren’t just about passports—they're about lives..
• Headline: Senate, 81-0, Votes 2.9% Federal Raise; FEDERAL PAY RISE VOTBD BY SENATE. Impact: This unanimous vote paved the way for an era of 'let's pretend we care about our workers' while secretly hoarding wealth. It's practically an American pastime!. Fact: It's funny how the Senate can agree on a pay raise but can’t seem to agree on what day it is. Politics, am I right?.
• Headline: Surgery Ends Pregnancy Of Queen Fabiola in Belgium. Impact: This tragic event led to a re-evaluation of royal responsibilities and the pressures of monarchy, setting the stage for future royal scandals. The crown weighs heavy, indeed.. Fact: Extra-uterine pregnancies are rare, but they certainly make for dramatic headlines. Here’s hoping the royal family had a solid support system!.