MAY 31, 1966

Full News Archive

• Headline: Plot Against Mobutu: The Kimba Conspiracy. Impact: If Kimba had succeeded in his treasonous plot, we might have seen a drastically different Congo, where wearing a beret became a prerequisite for leadership. Imagine a world where leaders were judged by their fashionable headwear!. Fact: Kimba’s plot was so convoluted that even the most creative conspiracy theorists would have thrown in the towel. Spoiler alert: there were no stylish berets involved..
• Headline: Exploring Fodor's Regional Travel Guides. Impact: The introduction of Fodor Shell Travel Guides led to an explosion of mediocre vacations. If only people had known that a mediocre travel guide could ruin their Instagram feed for years to come!. Fact: Fodor's Guides have been known to suggest places so boring that even the local pigeons refuse to hang out there..
• Headline: Medicare Guidelines Empower Doctor-Patient Relationships. Impact: The new Medicare rules made doctors feel like they were in a game show: 'Will the real doctor please stand up?' This led to a rise in medical impersonators and confused patients.. Fact: In the world of 'reasonable' fees, some doctors began charging an extra fee for the privilege of waiting in the waiting room. Because why not?.
• Headline: U.S. ASKS PULLOUT IN SANTO DOMINGO; Joins 5 Other Nations With Troops in Peace Force in Urging Withdrawal Talks Nations With Troops in Dominican Peace Force Urge a Pullout. Impact: The U.S. push for a troop pullout in Santo Domingo was the diplomatic equivalent of saying, 'Let's agree to disagree… but only after I finish this sandwich.' It led to endless debates over whether to stay or leave.. Fact: The U.S. was so focused on troop withdrawal that they forgot to ask if anyone wanted a souvenir from Santo Domingo. Classic..
• Headline: Rockwell Hails Vietnam G.I.'s. Impact: Rockwell’s wreath toss into the ocean was less a tribute and more a confusing episode in a sitcom titled 'Nazi Goes to the Beach.' The effects? A significant drop in beach etiquette among extremist groups.. Fact: Legend has it that the ocean rejected the wreath, leading to a massive existential crisis for Rockwell. Even the sea wasn't impressed..
• Headline: CITY UNIVERSITY TO GET $5-MILLION IN WITHHELD AID; Rockefeller Says City Will Turn Over Money It Was Saving as a Cushion BUILDING FUND SOUGHT Bowker Holds $400-Million Is Still Needed to Insure Future Education Need City University to Get $5-Million In Aid That City Had Withheld. Impact: The release of $5 million in aid to the City University was like a financial lifeboat in a sea of budget cuts, sparking debates that resembled a tense game of Monopoly.. Fact: Rockefeller's decision to release the funds was so shocking that it caused a unicorn sighting on Wall Street. They say money does grow on trees… or at least from political favors..