MAY 29, 1966

Full News Archive

• Headline: Crisis Averted in Dominican Elections. Impact: The last-minute changes in Dominican electoral law not only averted a crisis but also inspired future politicians to realize that a little tweaking of the rules could keep them in power indefinitely. It’s like a cheat code for democracy!. Fact: Fun fact: In politics, 'democracy' often means 'we'll let you vote as long as we can change the rules whenever we want.'.
• Headline: No Unknown Soldiers in Vietnam War Casualties. Impact: The Pentagon's declaration that there are no 'unknown' American dead in Vietnam caused a ripple effect that led to the creation of the most elaborate conspiracy theories about hidden casualties. Because who doesn’t love a good cover-up story?. Fact: The term 'unknown soldier' was coined to honor the fallen, but apparently, the Pentagon thought it was time for a rebranding—like calling a ghost 'just a really shy guy.'.
• Headline: Art; The Legendary John Graham. Impact: John Graham's legacy in art inspired countless future artists to think they too could make a living by smearing paint on a canvas and calling it 'expression.' The art world is still trying to recover from that wave of self-proclaimed geniuses.. Fact: John Graham was a legendary figure, but let's be honest—many modern artists owe their careers to the phrase, 'My 5-year-old could do that.'.
• Headline: A Diet of Canapes. Impact: The trend of presenting bills of one-act plays was the first step toward modern-day Netflix binges. Who knew that reducing attention spans could lead to entire seasons of shows watched in one sitting?. Fact: One-act plays: because who has the time to sit through a two-hour production when you can have a snack break after 30 minutes?.
• Headline: ATLANTA; New Georgia Paper Plant to Make Only Newsprint. Impact: Cox Newsprint's decision to build a specialized plant inadvertently set off the trend of niche markets. Today, people are buying artisanal newsprint that’s hand-crafted by monks in the Himalayas—because regular newsprint just isn't exclusive enough.. Fact: Did you know that newsprint is so 20th century? Nowadays, if it’s not printed on hemp paper, does it even count as news?.
• Headline: They're Off! Republicans, That Is; President Ponders Polls Kennedy Takes Plunge. Impact: The political antics of the Republicans in this era set the stage for an eternal cycle of mudslinging and dramatic political theater. It's like a soap opera, but with fewer plot twists and more scandal.. Fact: Did you know that political drama has a higher viewership than reality TV? Who needs Kardashians when you've got Congress?.
• Headline: 'Aeneid' Inspires Sonja the Sailor and Her Trawler. Impact: Sonja the Sailor's venture inspired countless women to take up unconventional professions, leading to a future where anyone can become a 'social media influencer' with just a smartphone and a dream—because why not?. Fact: Fun fact: Sonja de Borodesky probably had better engineering skills than many people who call themselves 'engineers' today without any qualifications..
• Headline: Sports News; TRACK AND FIELD. Impact: The coverage of track and field sparked a newfound interest in athletics, leading to the rise of competitive couch-sitting as a legitimate sport. The world will never be the same.. Fact: Track and field: where people run in circles to achieve a medal that’s often just as good as the participation trophy you got in kindergarten..