MAY 6, 1966

Full News Archive

• Headline: Rhodesia Talks Begin in London. Impact: The 'Talks About Talks' sparked a chain reaction where future politicians would hold endless meetings to discuss meetings, ultimately leading to the invention of the conference call—because who wouldn't want to argue over a bad connection?. Fact: Did you know that 'talking in circles' was officially recognized as an Olympic sport during these talks? No medals were awarded, but it certainly was a gold medal performance in procrastination.
• Headline: End of Paris' West Side Story Run. Impact: The end of 'West Side Story's' record run in Paris made way for a new theatrical trend: 'The Never-Ending Show,' which is still running somewhere, with no signs of stopping—much like my desire to avoid watching it. Fact: Did you know that 'West Side Story' was originally going to be about rival hot dog vendors? The project was scrapped when they realized the drama of mustard vs. ketchup wasn't quite as riveting.
• Headline: GUEVARA CALLED PERU REBEL CHIEF; Visit to Hide-out in Andes Is Described by Italian. Impact: Guevara's rise as a rebel chief led to a surge in beret sales worldwide, making it the hottest fashion statement among those who wanted to look revolutionary without any of the actual work. Fact: Fun fact: Guevara's hideout in the Andes had the best Wi-Fi—perfect for all those guerrilla TikTok accounts that popped up later. #RevolutionaryVibes.
• Headline: Cholesterol Drug Suit Settled. Impact: This lawsuit settled the score for many who thought they were getting a health boost but ended up with side effects. It also inspired the phrase, 'No good deed goes unpunished' to become a tagline for pharmaceutical commercials. Fact: Did you know that the side effects of Mer-29 included sudden cravings for potato chips and an overwhelming urge to take long naps? Truly a wonder drug!.
• Headline: BILL WOULD PROVIDE TAX BREAK TO ARTIST. Impact: This bill paved the way for artists to negotiate better deals, eventually leading to the modern 'starving artist' trope, where everyone thinks you can live on exposure alone. Fact: Fun fact: The first artist to benefit from this bill was actually a potato. It sold its likeness for a capital gain and became an overnight sensation in the art world!.
• Headline: Customs Union Stalled. Impact: The stalling of the customs union led to an international game of economic chicken, where countries played 'Who's Gonna Blink First?' Spoiler alert: they all blinked, and tariffs are still a thing. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'customs union' was originally coined by a group of bored bureaucrats looking for a way to spice up their paperwork? Talk about a real page-turner!.
• Headline: Fowler Opposes Tax Increase Now; FOWLER OPPOSES A TAX RISE NOW. Impact: Fowler's tax opposition led to a long history of political debates that resemble a game of hot potato, where everyone passes the responsibility but no one wants to catch it. Fact: Did you know that Fowler's stance against tax increases was actually a misunderstanding? He thought they were talking about raising taxes on fowl, and he was just trying to protect the chicken population!.
• Headline: State Masons Elect Staples. Impact: The election of Staples as Grand Master led to a revival of secret society interest, inspiring countless conspiracy theories about the Masons controlling the world—because who doesn't love a good conspiracy?. Fact: Fun fact: Staples' first act as Grand Master was to ensure all Masons received a complimentary apron. Because nothing says 'mystery' like a well-dressed secret society member!.