APRIL 11, 1966

Full News Archive

• Headline: Johnson Delays Vice Presidential Residence Plans. Impact: This delay inadvertently led to a nationwide shortage of white picket fences, as citizens began to wonder if they should even bother building homes for people who can't even decide when to move in.. Fact: The Vice President’s house has been delayed so many times, it’s practically a real estate horror story..
• Headline: Power Failures End Sky Exploration Mission. Impact: The failure of Sky Laboratory's batteries caused a cosmic ripple that resulted in the invention of solar-powered everything, eventually leading to your neighbor's questionable decision to install solar panels on their car.. Fact: This incident led NASA to conclude that maybe they should stop relying on batteries made in a basement..
• Headline: KICKBACK INQUIRY BEGUN BY HENTEL; Queens Prosecutor Studies Data on O'Connor Ex-Aides Hentel Begins an Inquiry Into 'Intimations' of Kickbacks. Impact: The inquiry set off a chain reaction of similar investigations, leading to the establishment of the 'Kickback Olympics,' where politicians competed for the most creative excuses.. Fact: This investigation was so intense, it inspired a reality TV show: 'Keeping Up with the Kickbacks.'.
• Headline: THOUSANDS STRIKE SOFT COAL MINES; Unauthorized Walkout Hits Four States Union Won't Order the Men Back Thousands Strike Coal Mines; Union Won't Order Men Back. Impact: This strike not only disrupted coal production but also inadvertently led to the rise of alternative energy sources, as people suddenly realized they could get energy without having to mine it from the earth—who knew?. Fact: The unauthorized walkout was so big, it made the news twice—once for the strike and once for the miners' newfound interest in yoga..
• Headline: Evelyn Waugh, Satirical Novelist, Is Dead at 62; Author of 'Loved One' Wrote 28 Books in 36 Years Bizarre Vision of Aristocracy Had Deeply Moral Origins EVELYN WAUGH, 62, NOVELIST, IS DEAD. Impact: Waugh's death left a notable void in literary satire, which prompted a surge in aspiring satirists armed with nothing but Twitter accounts and a profound misunderstanding of irony.. Fact: Waugh was known for his sharp wit; it’s rumored he could cut through a room of aristocrats with just a well-timed quip, leaving everyone both entertained and slightly offended..
• Headline: 'Obstacles' to Pope's Visit Deplored by Wyszynski. Impact: Wyszynski's lament over obstacles to the Pope's visit inadvertently led to the creation of a popular board game called 'Papal Pathways,' where players must navigate the hurdles of scheduling and logistics to reach the Vatican.. Fact: The Pope's visits are so meticulously planned that even a minor delay could fuel a new conspiracy theory about a secret society of procrastinating clerics..
• Headline: Bosch Is Nominated for Dominican Presidency; Revolutionary Party Names Him by Acclamation Guzman, Ex-Minister, Will Be His Running Mate. Impact: Bosch's nomination set off a political chain reaction that eventually led to the creation of 'Presidential Karaoke Night,' where aspiring leaders could showcase their talents and political agendas through song.. Fact: Bosch’s campaign slogan was rumored to be 'Vote for me, I promise not to sing!'—which ironically made him the most popular candidate..