APRIL 9, 1966

Full News Archive

• Headline: Tragic Blaze Engulfs Acapulco Hilton. Impact: If that fire hadn't happened, maybe Hilton would have opened a bar in every city instead of just the ones that desperately need a vacation. Thanks to that blaze, we now have to suffer through overpriced drinks in even more mediocre locations. Fact: Hilton bars are known for their overpriced cocktails, but did you know that the average cost of a drink in a beachside bar can fund a small country’s education for a week? Cheers to that!.
• Headline: Chaucerian Tales from Italy Revealed. Impact: This book review sparked a renewed interest in Chaucer, leading to a series of unfortunate 'Canterbury Tales' themed parties where people dressed up as 14th-century pilgrims—and no, nobody had fun. Fact: Chaucer’s original audience was more interested in scandal and gossip than literary critique. Kind of like today’s social media but with more moral fiber.
• Headline: Cuban Exile Arrested in NYC Incident. Impact: The arrest of R Tamayo may have inadvertently fueled a wave of anti-Cuban sentiment in the U.S., leading to an uptick in poorly made Cuban sandwiches that haunt lunch menus to this day. Fact: The Molotov cocktail, while explosive, has never been a recommended drink at any bar—though it might be a fitting name for a particularly fiery chili recipe.
• Headline: Photograph in Court Brings Attack on Mayor's Ethics. Impact: This court case may have set off a chain reaction of politicians hiring private detectives to make sure their selfies don’t end up in court—because who doesn’t love avoiding accountability?. Fact: In a world where politicians are often scrutinized, it’s comforting to know they’re just as bad at keeping secrets as teenagers—except with higher stakes and less angst.
• Headline: Ford Agrees to Send Ribicoff Data on Defects in Its Autos. Impact: This agreement may have led to the rise of auto safety regulations, which ultimately resulted in the modern car's ability to alert you when your tires need air or when you're about to drive into a lake. Thanks, Ribicoff!. Fact: Before modern safety regulations, cars were basically death traps on wheels. Kind of like that time you decided to make a 'shortcut' through the woods.
• Headline: Art: What's in a Name, Like Warhol or Vanderbilt?; Or: A Name Is a Name Is Just Simply a Name. Impact: This display of nameless art likely inspired a new generation of artists to create works that are intentionally forgettable, leading to an exponential increase in abstract expressionism and head-scratching gallery visits. Fact: Art critics often claim that naming a piece gives it meaning, but let's be real: sometimes it just leads to more confusion. Just ask the poor intern who had to title 'Untitled #37'.
• Headline: U.S. AIDES ASSAIL BUDDHIST LEADER IN SAIGON DISPUTE; Misgivings About Tri Quang Accompany Praise for His 'More Moderate' Rival LINK TO REDS DOUBTED Hope for a Truce Is Erased in Saigon Anti-American Demonstrations Go On U.S. Officials Assail a Buddhist Who Is Leader of Anti-Ky Forces. Impact: The ongoing conflict highlighted the complexities of political alliances, leading to a series of confusing diplomatic discussions that left historians scratching their heads and wondering why we can’t just get along. Fact: The debates surrounding Tri Quang and his rivals were so intense that historians often joke that if they had Twitter back then, the hashtag #BuddhistBeef would have trended for weeks.