APRIL 2, 1966

Full News Archive

• Headline: Garelik's Call Against Police Entrapment. Impact: Garelik's call to action sparked a movement that inadvertently led to the creation of 'how to avoid being entrapped by the police' workshops, which later became wildly popular in community centers.. Fact: Fun fact: Entrapment is just another word for 'let's play a game of legal dodgeball!'.
• Headline: Farm Census Reveals Shrinking Population. Impact: The decline in farm population directly contributed to urban sprawl, as people decided that living among cows and crops was so last century.. Fact: Did you know that if you counted how many farms disappeared since then, you'd have enough land for a small country? Who needs farms when you can have parking lots?.
• Headline: Laser Detects Metal Flaws. Impact: The invention of laser technology for detecting metal flaws paved the way for every sci-fi movie ever, ultimately leading to the conclusion that metal can indeed be our worst enemy.. Fact: Did you know that lasers can also be used for cat toys? Priorities, people!.
• Headline: FRANCE BANS FILM OF DIDEROT'S 'NUN'; Movie of Classic Is Withheld Despite Censors' Approval. Impact: The French government's censorship sparked a global debate on artistic freedom that led to underground film festivals. Because nothing says rebellion like a movie no one can see.. Fact: Did you know censorship was just the French government's way of saying, 'We don't want you to see our dirty laundry'? Spoiler alert: It was actually quite clean..
• Headline: EXTENSION VOTED ON MEDICARE DATE; Senate Backs New Deadline House Yet to Act. Impact: The Medicare deadline extension became the gold standard for procrastination—setting a precedent that would inspire countless future budget negotiations.. Fact: Did you know that 'deadline' is just a fancy way of saying 'let's pretend this is important until we absolutely have to deal with it'?.
• Headline: KIRCHHOFER RETIRES FROM BUFFALO NEWS. Impact: Kirchhofer's retirement led to a series of editorial changes that ultimately resulted in the rise of opinion pieces about the best way to brew coffee.. Fact: Did you know that retiring from journalism is like leaving a party? Everyone says, 'Stay for just one more drink!'.
• Headline: CITY DELAYS WORK, BRENNAN CHARGES. Impact: Brennan's charges about construction delays led to a national trend of blaming the weather for absolutely everything—because who doesn’t love a good excuse?. Fact: Did you know that if you blame the weather for your problems, you can never be held accountable? Just ask your local weatherperson!.
• Headline: U.S. Informs States They Can Still Go On Daylight Time. Impact: The decision to allow states to continue with Daylight Saving Time caused a collective groan that rippled through history, eventually leading to the invention of the coffee IV.. Fact: Did you know that Daylight Saving Time is just a fancy term for 'let's mess with your sleep schedule and see how cranky you get'?.