MARCH 15, 1966

Full News Archive

• Headline: Celebrating 'My Fair Lady's' 10th Anniversary. Impact: The continued success of 'My Fair Lady' inspired a spate of ill-fated adaptations, including 'My Fair Cat' and 'My Fair Lawn Chair', forever altering the landscape of musical theater.. Fact: It's only a matter of time before they make a movie about a talking lawn chair. Get ready for the Oscars, folks!.
• Headline: Cement-Maker Revolutionizes Production with Computers. Impact: This 'breakthrough' in cement production led to an unexpected boom in bizarre cement sculptures, culminating in a yearly festival where people compete to create the most absurd cement art.. Fact: Cement: the only substance that makes your backyard look like a modern art museum—if modern art was just a giant gray block..
• Headline: China Says Sato Wants U.S. To Use Japan as Atom Base. Impact: This accusation sparked a decades-long game of geopolitical chess where every move was more ludicrous than the last, culminating in a bizarre 2040 summit where world leaders wore matching pajamas.. Fact: Nothing says diplomacy like pajamas. Maybe we should try that next time instead of sanctions?.
• Headline: New Orleans Strike Fails To Halt School Operations. Impact: The resilience shown during this strike inspired future generations of students to never give up, leading to an entire movement of students protesting for pizza in school lunches. The Pizza Rebellion of 2028 was born.. Fact: New Orleans: proving that even strikes can’t keep kids from learning—or from getting their pizza fix!.
• Headline: Welfare Mission Arrives in Saigon; WELFARE EXPERTS ARRIVE IN VIETNAM. Impact: This welfare mission inadvertently led to the establishment of a robust international welfare exchange program that, by 2020, allowed people to swap welfare tips like Pokémon cards.. Fact: Who knew welfare could be so trendy? Next up: Pokémon welfare trading cards!.
• Headline: Puerto Rico University Seeks to Double Its Faculty. Impact: This ambitious quest resulted in a nationwide faculty shortage, causing a bizarre scenario in 2025 where students were taught by former circus performers and retired astronauts.. Fact: When in doubt, just hire a clown. Education will be a real 'circus'!.
• Headline: Res Ask Court for New Trial And Setting Aside of Conviction; RES FILE REQUEST FOR A NEW TRIAL. Impact: The request for a new trial led to a strange phenomenon where every convict suddenly thought they had a shot at appealing their cases, resulting in a new legal trend that ultimately flooded the courts.. Fact: Court cases: the ultimate game of 'let's see if we can annoy the judge more!'.
• Headline: RATE RISE IS SEEN FOR CERTIFICATES; Chase Is Reported Paying 5 Per Cent on Negotiable 1967 Time Deposits. RATE RISE IS SEEN FOR CERTIFICATES. Impact: The predicted rate rise sent shockwaves through the financial sector, leading to an arms race of interest rates that eventually resulted in banks offering ludicrous incentives like free puppies for new accounts.. Fact: Because who wouldn’t want a puppy with their savings account? That's how you grow your wealth, folks!.