MARCH 8, 1966

Full News Archive

• Headline: Senate Panel Approves Vietnam Aid Funds. Impact: The Senate's decision to fund Vietnam aid without policy riders led to a slippery slope of bureaucratic red tape that would ultimately cause government agencies to resemble a game of Twister – one wrong move and someone’s getting tangled in regulations. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more convoluted than U.S. foreign policy at the time was the approval process for a new flavor of Doritos?.
• Headline: Commonweal Advocates for Priests' Rights. Impact: The push for priest rights was the unintentional spark for a nationwide debate on whether clergy should wear sweatpants while conducting mass. Spoiler: it got weird. Fact: Commonweal may have just invented the concept of 'clergy casual Fridays' – a revolution no one asked for!.
• Headline: Peace Flight Gifts Ancient Persian Jars. Impact: The donation of ancient pottery to the museum marked the beginning of a long-standing tradition where every significant peace gesture is followed by a museum exhibit, leading to a rather confusing collection of 'peace artifacts' that include everything from pottery to a signed peace treaty on a napkin. Fact: The Persian jars were probably just a fancy way for A S Nathan to say, 'Look, I brought you a souvenir!'.
• Headline: Blizzard's Toll of Livestock Called "Tremendous'; Georgia Towns Flooded Mississippi Toll Reduced. Impact: The blizzard's destruction of livestock led to a surge in the popularity of veganism in the Midwest, as people began to rethink their dinner options – and also their life choices during snowstorms. Fact: They say blizzards bring people together, but they forgot to mention they can also make you question your cattle ranching career.
• Headline: ADULTS' MORALITY CALLED HYPOCRISY; Parley Is Told Teen-Agers Get '19th-Century' Advice on Sexual Problems. Impact: The outcry over adult hypocrisy in advising teenagers set the stage for countless awkward high school health classes, where teachers fumbled through the complexities of consent like they were trying to solve a Rubik's cube blindfolded. Fact: Ironically, many adults have been known to give far better advice on how to hide your snacks from your siblings than on navigating teenage relationships.
• Headline: Udall Praises Germans. Impact: Udall's praise for German cooperation led to a long-term partnership that would eventually include the invention of bratwurst parties – a staple of diplomatic relations and an excuse to eat your body weight in sausages. Fact: Who knew that talking about natural resources management could lead to the creation of Oktoberfest? Thanks, Udall!.
• Headline: C.C.N.Y. TEACHERS SET UP SEMINARS; Group Says Students Need Aid on Today's Issues Group Formed Earlier 40 Students Attend. Impact: The establishment of noncredit seminars at C.C.N.Y. was the beginning of a trend where students learned more from their professors about ‘the real world’ than they ever did in their degree programs – leading to the term 'professional students' becoming a badge of honor. Fact: These seminars were possibly the first recorded instance of 'adulting' classes, where students learned that laundry doesn’t do itself.
• Headline: NEW DATA SHOW ECONOMY GAINING; Johnson Cites Expansion of Plants, but Delays Asking Anti-Inflation Tax Rise. Impact: Johnson’s decision to delay an anti-inflation tax rise became a classic case of kicking the can down the road, ultimately resulting in a long-standing tradition of politicians postponing uncomfortable decisions – because who doesn’t love a good tax drama?. Fact: The economy gaining ground was the 'feel-good' headline of the year, right before everyone remembered that taxes don’t solve themselves.
• Headline: Jewish Conference Elects. Impact: The re-election of Chairman Prinz at the Jewish Conference led to a series of meetings that were essentially just an excuse for everyone to argue about whether matzah is the superior bread – a debate that still haunts family gatherings today. Fact: Re-electing Prinz was probably the safest choice, as nobody wanted to risk the chaos of a leadership contest during Passover!.