FEBRUARY 28, 1966

Full News Archive

• Headline: Costello's Bold Stance on Budget Proposals. Impact: Costello’s refusal to adhere to budget controls sparked a worldwide trend of people ignoring spreadsheets. This ultimately led to the rise of the 'eat, pray, love' lifestyle as a coping mechanism for financial ignorance.. Fact: Fun fact: Ignoring budget controls is like ignoring a warning sign on a roller coaster—exciting until you realize you're plummeting towards financial ruin!.
• Headline: CBS Develops Movie Disk for TVs. Impact: The development of this disk initiated a revolution that eventually led to binge-watching, which then created a generation of couch potatoes who never knew what sunlight looked like. Thanks, CBS, for the Vitamin D deficiency epidemic!. Fact: Did you know that the first TV dinner was invented shortly after? Apparently, someone thought, 'Why not make it easier for people to never leave their couch?'.
• Headline: BOY SCOUTS VS. C.I.A. ENDS IN TRUCE PACT. Impact: The peaceful resolution of this dispute paved the way for future collaborations between unlikely organizations, including the infamous 'Cookies for Covert Ops' program that made selling cookies a national pastime. Who knew espionage could lead to Thin Mints?. Fact: It turns out that the CIA has better camping gear than the Boy Scouts. Just imagine the campfire stories they could tell!.
• Headline: IRT PELHAM LINE HALTED BY FLOOD; Broken Main Pours Water Into Tunnel 7 Hours Morning Service Out IRT Pelham Line Is Halted by Flood. Impact: The flood incident resulted in the invention of inflatable subway cars, which became wildly popular in the '80s until they realized they were just glorified pool floats.. Fact: When trains are stopped due to floods, they don't just float away like rubber duckies. Who knew commuting could be such an aquatic adventure?.
• Headline: REGENTS OPPOSED ON COLLEGE PLAN; Alumni Say Board Changes Would End Local Control of City University Alumni Oppose Regents' Plan for City University. Impact: The uproar over local control sparked a series of protests that eventually led to the development of the phrase 'not my university!'—a catch-all for students everywhere to express their disdain for administration decisions.. Fact: Did you know that alumni protests are essentially just an extended version of 'I walked 5 miles to school uphill both ways'? They just come with more paperwork!.
• Headline: WIRTZ HINTS AID CUT TO CURB INFLATION. Impact: Wirtz's hint about aid cuts inadvertently caused a nationwide increase in coupon clipping, as people scrambled to find any way to save a dime, inspiring a generation of extreme couponers who would make even the most frugal person cringe.. Fact: Cutting aid to curb inflation is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline—good luck with that!.
• Headline: GUITARISTS FILL 2 CONCERT HALLS; Los Indios Tabajaras and the Romeros Give Concerts. Impact: The success of these concerts inspired thousands to pick up guitars, leading to an unprecedented spike in 'dad rock' bands everywhere. Little did they know that not everyone is meant to solo like Jimi Hendrix.. Fact: Did you know that being a guitarist at a concert hall means you officially have more fans than you do friends? Welcome to the club!.
• Headline: PENNSY WILL RENEW PRODUCE CONTRACTS. Impact: The renewal of these contracts led to the increased popularity of farm-to-table restaurants, paving the way for hipsters to pay $20 for an avocado toast that costs 10 cents to make. Thanks, Pennsy!. Fact: Did you know that produce contracts are basically the reason some people think kale is a food group? You're welcome, healthy eating!.