FEBRUARY 7, 1966

Full News Archive

• Headline: Flying Saucer Enthusiasts Seek Contact. Impact: After this meeting, a secret society of UFO enthusiasts was formed, leading to the invention of the 'Intergalactic Friendship Bracelet', which is now a must-have accessory for hipsters everywhere.. Fact: Did you know that if aliens do exist, they probably think Earthlings are just overly enthusiastic pets? Let’s hope they don’t come to collect their 'pets' back!.
• Headline: Soviet Critic Granted Visa to Britain. Impact: This event sparked a chain reaction that led to the rise of conspiracy theories suggesting that all critics of the government are actually aliens in disguise, which inadvertently resulted in a dramatic increase in tinfoil hat sales.. Fact: Fun fact: There’s a real possibility that Tarsis' next book will be titled 'How to Make Friends With Aliens: A Guide for Dissenters'..
• Headline: Director Is Appointed By Academy of Medicine. Impact: The appointment of Dr. J E McCormack led to a series of increasingly bizarre medical practices, including the infamous 'Dancing Doctor' trend that swept through medical schools in the 1970s.. Fact: Did you know that Dr. McCormack once tried to treat a patient with interpretive dance? Spoiler alert: it didn’t work..
• Headline: Jewish Class Gets Lesson in Catholic Rites. Impact: This lesson inadvertently led to the establishment of 'Cultural Exchange Programs', which now include mandatory classes on how to argue about bagels and lox.. Fact: Did you know that this event inspired a Broadway musical titled 'Matzah and Mass'? It was a hit... for about 3 performances..
• Headline: BRITAIN REPORTS NEW LUNA PHOTOS; Reception Contradicts Tass Statement on Mission End. Impact: This revelation led to a worldwide 'Photo War', where countries started releasing increasingly ridiculous moon photos, including one where a cat was allegedly found on the lunar surface.. Fact: Fun fact: The moon's surface is actually pretty great for selfies, if you can get past the whole 'lack of atmosphere' thing..
• Headline: FINE COLLECTING STUMPS COMPUTER; Murtagh Says Device Won't Be Answer to Scofflaws Murtagh Says City's New Traffic Computer Is Inadequate. Impact: This complaint about the traffic computer led to the development of the first AI traffic cop, who now enforces parking rules with an iron fist and a slight malfunction that issues tickets for 'illegal time travel'.. Fact: Did you know that the city’s first traffic computer was later discovered to be a glorified calculator? It still owes hundreds in parking tickets!.
• Headline: Raids on North Vietnam Started One Year Ago. Impact: The anniversary of the raids became an annual event, which eventually turned into a global 'Peace and Reflection Day', celebrated by millions through the use of interpretive dance and awkward silence.. Fact: A little-known fact: The first anniversary event featured a reenactment by local high school students, which resulted in a surprisingly passionate debate about the merits of joint military exercises..
• Headline: Israeli Court, in Shift, Bars Foreign Counsel for Arab. Impact: This legal decision sparked a series of international incidents where foreign counsel began offering legal advice via satellite, leading to the rise of 'Remote Attorney' services, which are still trying to figure out how to charge clients.. Fact: Did you know that Hejazi's case was later turned into a courtroom drama series called 'Law & Order: International Conflict Unit'? Ratings were abysmal..
• Headline: Deputy Mayor Price Gets Flood Of Bids to Go on Radio and TV. Impact: Deputy Mayor Price's newfound fame from the radio and TV bids led to a bizarre trend of politicians trying to become 'influencers', resulting in the first-ever political TikTok dance challenge.. Fact: Did you know that the Deputy Mayor’s dance moves were so questionable, they sparked a nationwide call for political dance lessons?.