JANUARY 22, 1966

Full News Archive

• Headline: Legislators Partner with Rutgers University. Impact: This partnership between legislators and the university set off a chain reaction of bureaucratic initiatives that led to the creation of a 'Department of Redundancy Department.' Yes, it really exists, and it’s just as useful as it sounds. Fact: Fun fact: Legislators often get together to discuss ways to make laws more confusing. Because who doesn't love a good riddle?.
• Headline: Honoring Dr. Hinsey's Legacy at Retirement. Impact: Dr. Hinsey's retirement led to an influx of aspiring medical directors who thought they could do it too without an M.D. This gave rise to the 'YouTube Medical School,' where anyone can become a doctor if they just believe hard enough. And yes, they still get a degree from the internet. Fact: Dr. Hinsey never received an M.D. but managed to influence countless lives. Sometimes, it turns out, you don't need a degree to be great—just a good sense of humor and some really convincing PowerPoint slides.
• Headline: LINDSAY PROMPTS CON ED SUMMONS; Mayor, Spotting Smoke at 14th Street Plant, Notifies Air Pollution Officials UTILITY DENIES CHARGE Similar Incident Occurred Thursday at the Company's Ravenswood Generator. Impact: Lindsay's keen eye for smoke led to the establishment of the 'Mayor's Smoke Spotting Academy,' where aspiring mayors learn to identify smoke and promptly ignore everything else that might be going wrong in the city. Fact: You know that feeling when you see smoke and just ignore it? Well, that's basically how some politicians handle problems—just wave it off and hope it goes away!.
• Headline: U.S. Officer Killed in Blast By Vietcong During Truce; U.S. Officer Killed in Saigon Blast by Vietcong. Impact: This tragic incident underscored the fragility of truces and led to heightened tensions that would echo for decades, reminding future generations that peace deals are often as sturdy as a house of cards in a windstorm. Fact: Truces are like promises: easy to make, hard to keep, and often broken by someone who thought they could get away with it.
• Headline: Frank Foster's Band Is Heard In Hunter's 2d Jazz Concert. Impact: Foster's concert inspired a generation of jazz enthusiasts, leading to an explosion of saxophones in households everywhere. This ultimately caused a worldwide shortage of reeds, forcing musicians to improvise with their cat's whiskers. Fact: Jazz concerts are the only places where it's socially acceptable to stare at someone playing an instrument like they're performing a magic trick. Spoiler: there’s no magic, just lots of practice and a little too much caffeine.
• Headline: Shastri Memorial Service Here. Impact: The memorial service for Shastri brought attention to the importance of leadership and integrity. This ripple effect would inspire future leaders to at least attempt to sound sincere, even if they weren't. Fact: Memorial services are the only events where people can discuss someone's life while secretly wondering who’s getting the last hors d'oeuvre.
• Headline: 2 OLD FILMS STIR DISPUTE ON RIGHTS; Museum Aide and Keaton Protest Public Showings. Impact: The dispute over the silent films eventually led to the rise of copyright laws that are so intricate, they could be classified as their own language. This paved the way for future generations to argue over who really owns the rights to that cat video you posted last year. Fact: It's funny how silent films caused such a ruckus when, ironically, they couldn't say a word about it. Talk about a missed opportunity!.