JANUARY 6, 1966

Full News Archive

• Headline: Firemen Removal Controversy in Rail Industry. Impact: The removal of firemen led to a massive uptick in train-related accidents, which in turn sparked a nationwide movement for safety regulations that culminated in the invention of the first 'safety whistle'—which ironically, no one actually used during emergencies.. Fact: The term 'complete hoax' was first coined by a disgruntled fireman who was actually just mad about losing his job. He later became a famous author of train-themed mystery novels..
• Headline: Baker Charged in Fraud and Tax Evasion. Impact: Baker's indictment sent shockwaves through the political landscape, leading to a long series of events that inspired the creation of 'Tax Evasion Bingo'—a popular party game among politicians ever since.. Fact: In an ironic twist, Baker's fraudulent schemes were so elaborate that they inspired a reality TV show called 'Real Politicians of Nevada,' which was canceled after one season due to lack of interest..
• Headline: Avalanches Disrupt Life in Realp, Switzerland. Impact: The avalanches redirected tourism in Switzerland, leading to the invention of the 'Avalanche Survival Kit,' which somehow included fondue and Swiss chocolate, as if that would help you survive being buried alive.. Fact: Switzerland is known for its neutrality, but little do people know that they secretly have a contingency plan involving chocolate to bribe their way out of any political mess..
• Headline: Ballet: Youthful Talent; Patricia McBride and Suzanne Farrell Have Bright Futures in Store. Impact: The rise of youthful ballet talent resulted in the establishment of 'Ballet for All,' an initiative that promised to teach anyone with two left feet how to pirouette—spoiler alert: it didn't work.. Fact: Patricia McBride once danced so gracefully that a nearby cat attempted to imitate her, resulting in a viral video that launched a million cat ballet memes..
• Headline: 3d Reform Democrat Joins O'Connor's Personal Staff. Impact: The addition of a third Reform Democrat to O'Connor's staff led to a new trend in political staffing: the more obscure the title, the more power you wielded—hence the rise of 'Chief of Unnecessary Paperwork.'. Fact: W.R. Ginsberg later became a renowned expert on the art of political jargon, publishing the best-selling book 'How to Say Nothing in 1,000 Words.'.
• Headline: GOVERNOR OFFERS MORE SCHOOL AID WITHOUT TAX RISE; Opening the Legislature, He Calls for a Wider Fight on Crime and Addiction. Impact: Rockefeller's offer of school aid without a tax rise sparked nationwide debates about the true meaning of 'free lunch,' leading to a series of philosophical discussions that ultimately resulted in the creation of the 'Free Lunch Society.'. Fact: The name 'Lindsay' has been misspelled more times than the word 'onomatopoeia'—which, ironically, is also how people feel after hearing about tax policies..
• Headline: 19 States Urge Supreme Court To Uphold Voting Rights Act; DESEGREGATION RISE IN SCHOOLS REPORTED. Impact: The Supreme Court's decision to uphold the Voting Rights Act paved the way for future legislation, inadvertently inspiring a new genre of protest music that peaked in the '70s with songs like 'You Can't Vote With a Klan Hood On.'. Fact: Southern states were so reluctant to report on desegregation that they briefly considered changing the definition of 'desegregated' to include 'hiding behind a tree and hoping no one notices.'.
• Headline: Klan Is Said to Retain Its Control Of Bogalusa Despite Court Order; Owner of Radio Station Tells House Panel of Campaign That Forced Him to Move. Impact: The U.S. refusal to lend dollars to Cairo set a precedent for future diplomatic relations, leading to the infamous 'Dollar Diplomacy'—a strategy that eventually caused countries to start hoarding Monopoly money.. Fact: The U.S. State Department's motto during this time was 'Don't lend money to anyone unless they can show you a detailed PowerPoint presentation on why they need it.'.
• Headline: U.S. Says It Will Not Lend Dollars to Cairo to Buy Food. Impact: The election of M. Katz as a trustee at Brandeis marked the beginning of a new era in university governance, where trustees were often chosen based on their ability to throw the best fundraising galas.. Fact: M. Katz once famously said, 'Trustee meetings are just like family gatherings, except with more spreadsheets and less potato salad.'.
• Headline: Brandeis Trustee Elected.