DECEMBER 8, 1965

Full News Archive

• Headline: Johnson's Vietnam Policy Under Fire. Impact: Kosygin's refusal to meet with Johnson until the Vietnam conflict ended created a diplomatic stalemate that turned into a circus act, each side throwing pies of propaganda at each other. It’s almost like they needed a mediator with a bigger whip.. Fact: Did you know that if you squint hard enough, the conflict in Vietnam looks like a really intense game of ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’?.
• Headline: Victory Ships Rejoin Naval Fleet. Impact: The reactivation of those Victory ships led to an accidental resurgence of 'Dad's Army' enthusiasm in the U.S., with retired veterans suddenly wanting to relive their glory days on the high seas. Spoiler: it didn’t end well.. Fact: Did you know that those Victory ships were basically the grandpas of today’s container ships? All they needed was a good retirement plan!.
• Headline: Red Star Shines Into Businesslike Kremlin Room Where Kosygin Presides. Impact: Kosygin's businesslike demeanor in the Kremlin inspired a generation of bureaucrats to embrace the 'seriously bland' look, which ultimately resulted in the invention of the two-piece business suit. Fashion history is truly a wild ride.. Fact: Did you know that 'businesslike' was once just a euphemism for 'I forgot to do laundry'?.
• Headline: CHURCHMEN ASK U.S. TO CURB BOMBINGS. Impact: The churchmen's plea to curb bombings inadvertently started a grassroots movement that eventually led to the rise of 'peaceful protest' as a trendy Instagram hashtag. Hashtags have more power than you think!. Fact: Did you know that the only thing that travels faster than a speeding bullet is a Twitter rumor about a failed bombing?.
• Headline: A 900-Year-Old Schism Is Eased; Excommunication Is Nullified by Pope and Patriarch. Impact: The nullification of the 900-year excommunication schism sparked a religious renaissance where every churchgoer suddenly believed they could negotiate peace as well as the Pope. Spoiler alert: they couldn’t.. Fact: Did you know that the last time a schism was eased this successfully, it was over who could make the best lasagna?.
• Headline: 5% INCREASE SET; Move Reverses Trend -- Propaganda Aim Is Suspected Kosygin Charges U.S. Policy Is Fomenting War. Impact: Kosygin's claims about U.S. policy fomenting war led to conspiracy theories that still circulate today, suggesting that even the smallest policy change could lead to an apocalypse. Thanks, Kosygin, for the anxiety.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more convoluted than U.S.-Soviet relations is trying to explain it to your cat?.
• Headline: JOINT INQUIRY URGED ON STOCKPILE POLICY. Impact: The call for a joint inquiry on stockpile policy prompted Congress to realize they had actual power to regulate things, which led to them overcompensating by passing more laws than there are actual stockpiles. Who knew they could be so productive?. Fact: Did you know that congressional investigations have a better track record of finding lost socks than finding actual solutions?.
• Headline: JURY HERE INDICTS MORHOUSE IN PLOT FOR $100,000 BRIBE; Ex-G.O.P. State Chairman Accused in S.L.A. Inquiry -- He Denies Charges. Impact: Morhouse's indictment for bribery reminded everyone that politics is just a fancy name for professional kickbacks. This revelation led to the invention of the phrase 'money talks, integrity walks.'. Fact: Did you know that in politics, a bribe is really just a 'friendly donation' that forgot to wear its disguise?.