OCTOBER 16, 1965

Full News Archive

• Headline: Fibre Box Company Leadership Change. Impact: The election of W S Snyder as president led to a bizarre series of events where every subsequent president attempted to communicate via fibre optics, ultimately leading to an entire generation thinking they could 'teleport' by sending text messages.. Fact: Fun fact: The fibre optics used in communication today are great, but they don't actually help you teleport your sandwich from the fridge..
• Headline: Geesink Defends World Judo Championship Title. Impact: Geesink's judo title retention led to an unexpected rise in judo classes worldwide, causing a massive shortage of mats and resulting in the infamous 'Judo Wars' of the 80s, where mats were hoarded like precious gems.. Fact: Did you know that if every judo match were a dance battle, we could have avoided all those wars? Just imagine the glitter!.
• Headline: Wingate Faces Backlash Over Hate Group Warning. Impact: Wingate's warnings about the Harlem 'Five Percenters' triggered a ripple effect that led to a national obsession with conspiracy theories, culminating in the 90s when people believed that every corner coffee shop was a front for a secret society.. Fact: Speaking of conspiracy theories, did you know that if you put enough tinfoil on your head, you can actually tune into the thoughts of squirrels?.
• Headline: COSTELLO ASSERTS VOTE FOR BUCKLEY IS ANTI-CATHOLIC; Says Conservative Opposes Church Stand on the Poor, Minorities and U.N.. Impact: Costello's claim that a vote for Buckley was anti-Catholic unexpectedly led to a nationwide debate on religious views in politics, resulting in the invention of the 'Holy Vote' sticker, which was promptly ignored by 99% of the population.. Fact: Did you know that voting with a sticker doesn't actually count for extra points? But it does look cute on your fridge!.
• Headline: High Position Is Filled At A.G. Becker & Co.. Impact: The appointment of P R Judy as exec com chmn was so unremarkable that it led to a decade-long trend of people using the phrase 'I'm just here for the coffee' to avoid engaging in corporate politics.. Fact: Fun fact: The coffee in corporate offices is always 90% regret and 10% caffeine. Enjoy!.
• Headline: SENATE UNIT BARS SUGAR BILL DELAY; Balks Fulbright Plan to Set Foreign Shares in '66. Impact: The rejection of Fulbright's sugar bill amendment caused a sweet irony, as it led to a sugar shortage that sparked the infamous 'Candy Riots' of the late 60s, where candy lovers stormed supermarkets demanding their fix.. Fact: Did you know that sugar is technically a spice? So go ahead, add it to your meatballs and call it gourmet!.
• Headline: BARGAINING UNITY URGED BY POWERS; Printers' Chief Would Form Newspaper Union Council. Impact: Powers' push for a Newspaper Union Council led to the rise of journalists forming unions, which inadvertently resulted in the creation of the first-ever reality TV show called 'Survivor: The Press Room'.. Fact: And just like that, journalism turned into sport! Who knew reporting could be so cutthroat, right?.
• Headline: MACMILLANS FREE ON BAIL IN TORONTO. Impact: The MacMillans' bail situation sparked a sensationalist media frenzy, leading to the creation of a reality show called 'Bail Me Out', which was ironically canceled after the first season due to lack of drama.. Fact: Fun fact: Reality TV is only real until the cameras are off. Then it's just awkward silence and contractual obligations!.