JULY 29, 1965

Full News Archive

• Headline: Neutral Vietnam Proposal by Lord Avon. Impact: If only Lord Avon had been a psychic, he could have predicted that a neutral Vietnam would lead to less military spending in the U.S. and more funding for avocados and yoga classes instead. Imagine a world where Vietnam became the avocado capital of the world.. Fact: Did you know that neutral Vietnam was actually a diplomatic strategy that made everyone involved contemplate their life choices? In the end, no one really knew what they wanted..
• Headline: President Johnson's Bowling Weekend Injury. Impact: Johnson's sore arm after bowling might have actually delayed the signing of some key legislation. If only he'd taken up knitting instead, we might have had a more peaceful civil rights era.. Fact: Did you know that Johnson was so passionate about bowling that he considered renaming the White House 'The Bowling Lane'? Talk about a presidential strike!.
• Headline: Shooting Incident at Georgia Rally. Impact: The shooting incident in Georgia, a tragic reminder of racial tensions, inadvertently galvanized the Civil Rights Movement, leading to protests that would shape the future of American society... and your Netflix documentaries.. Fact: Did you know that America has had more racial tensions than sitcoms have had reruns? It's a legacy that keeps on giving..
• Headline: Military Disappointed; Services Had Sought Reserve Call-Up And Right to Extend Enlistments. Impact: The military's disappointment over enlistment decisions could have led to an increased reliance on draftees, who eventually became the heroes of countless Vietnam War movies, proving that Hollywood loves a good tragedy.. Fact: Did you know that military leaders often use the term 'stop-gap' as a euphemism for 'we have no idea what we're doing'? It’s a fan favorite..
• Headline: Florida U. Gets NASA Grant. Impact: The NASA grant to Florida University was the first step in a long chain of events that would lead to the moon landing, but let's be real: it started with someone saying, 'What if we gave a bunch of nerds money to figure out space stuff?'. Fact: Did you know that NASA grants are basically the adult version of getting an allowance for doing your chores? Except these 'chores' involve launching rockets..
• Headline: Ohio's High Court Bars Libel Award To Negro Woman. Impact: The Ohio Supreme Court's decision not to award damages over the libel case contributed to the ongoing dialogue about race and representation, proving that some things just don't change, no matter how many court cases you throw at them.. Fact: Did you know that 'Uncle Tom' has been used so often in American society that it's practically a default setting for any critique? It's like the 'Ctrl+Z' of racial discussions..
• Headline: Canarsie Residents Urge Action on Traffic Perils. Impact: The Canarsie residents' traffic demonstration might not have solved their immediate problems, but it did lead to more community meetings where people could complain about traffic—because everyone loves a good whine.. Fact: Did you know that residents complaining about traffic is basically modern-day performance art? Bravo, Canarsie!.
• Headline: POLICE PRESSURED ON BOOKIE INQUIRY; 3 Charged With Criminal Contempt for Silence. Impact: The contempt charges against former police officers created a ripple effect of distrust in law enforcement that still lingers today, like that one awkward uncle at family reunions.. Fact: Did you know that refusing to testify is basically the adult version of 'I don't want to play'? It rarely ends well..