JULY 21, 1965

Full News Archive

• Headline: City's Water Crisis: A Call to Action. Impact: If only the city had mustered the courage to fetch water from the moon, we might have avoided an epic water shortage. Who knew that a thirst for adventure could quench a thirst for hydration?. Fact: Did you know that water truly is the essence of life? Or at least, that's what they say while we're debating the merits of long-distance water fetching..
• Headline: U.S. Aid Increase Proposal for India. Impact: This 'sharp aid increase' was the moment that set off a chain reaction of U.S. officials in foreign countries desperately waving money like a cartoon character chasing after a bus. Spoiler: the aid still got lost.. Fact: Did you know that throwing money at problems doesn't always solve them? Shocking, I know..
• Headline: Rep. Wolff Launches Stevenson Scholarship Program. Impact: The establishment of the Stevenson Scholarship was the butterfly that flapped its wings, leading to a future of students who could afford to read the fine print on their hefty student loans.. Fact: Fun fact: scholarships are like unicorns—everyone wants one, but only a few actually get to ride one..
• Headline: JOHNSON AGREES ON ADJOURNMENT; Labor Day End for Congress Set if Major Work Is Done. Impact: Congress agreeing to adjournment by Labor Day? This set a precedent for procrastination that would echo through the halls of government for decades. 'Major work' became the mythical quest no one could ever seem to finish.. Fact: Labor Day is such a great time to reflect on how much work Congress didn't do. Truly inspiring!.
• Headline: Shortage of Arms and Men Plagues Army and Reserve; Lack of Arms and Men Besets Army and Reserve. Impact: The shortage of arms and men led to panic that rippled through the military, causing an unprecedented shortage of excuses for why things weren’t going as planned in Vietnam. Truly a time for creativity in crisis management.. Fact: Did you know that the military often has to come up with creative solutions? Just like your average college student during finals week!.
• Headline: CONFEREES AGREE ON MEDICARE BILL; REPORT DUE TODAY; Quick Ratification Expected -- Johnson Suffers Defeat on Specialists' Fees CONFEREES AGREE ON MEDICARE BILL. Impact: The Medicare bill agreement was like that moment in a group project when everyone just agrees to go with the least objectionable idea, leading to a future of half-hearted medical coverage and endless debates over fees.. Fact: Medicare: because nothing says 'we care' like a complicated billing structure..
• Headline: George Hormel Names Chairman. Impact: George Hormel's new chairman name change marked the beginning of a spicy era in corporate governance, where the only thing more unpredictable than the meat industry was the choice of leadership.. Fact: Fun fact: Hormel is famous for its Spam. So, if you’re ever feeling underappreciated at work, just remember: you could be a can of meat..
• Headline: TAX AGENT CALLED 'DR. STRANGELOVE'; Lawyer Critical of Boston Revenue Service Office. Impact: The 'Dr. Strangelove' moniker for a tax agent led to a series of increasingly ridiculous comparisons between IRS agents and movie villains, making tax season feel like an action film where everyone loses.. Fact: Did you know that the IRS has more eavesdropping devices than the average spy movie? Because nothing says 'we love you' like a good old-fashioned audit..
• Headline: Conferees Approach the Great Issues in Education on Tiptoe. Impact: Approaching great issues in education on tiptoe was the first step in a long dance of indecision that would eventually lead to a generation of students who learned to tiptoe around real issues. It’s like a ballet of bureaucracy.. Fact: Did you know that education debates are the only place where everyone tiptoes around the real issues while trying not to step on anyone's toes? Quite the balancing act!.