JUNE 17, 1965

Full News Archive

• Headline: Cargill's Perjury Conviction Shakes Oklahoma. Impact: Cargill's conviction led to a sudden spike in court bribery awareness, causing a chain reaction that resulted in a nationwide panic. In a shocking twist, people began hiding their money under mattresses, leading to a boom in the home goods market for mattress companies. Fact: Did you know that in Oklahoma, 'court' is actually slang for 'the place where legal shenanigans happen'? Just kidding, but maybe it should be!.
• Headline: Pioneering Pig Liver Treatment Saves Woman. Impact: This miraculous pig's liver treatment inspired a bizarre trend where people started seeking out other animal organs for health benefits. Next thing you know, there are goat kidney smoothies popping up in health food stores everywhere. Fact: Did you know that pig livers are not only tasty in a culinary sense but also exceptionally good at keeping humans alive? Who needs doctors when you have livestock?.
• Headline: De Gaulle's Stability Appeal in Paris Region. Impact: De Gaulle's stability appeal sparked a trend of politicians touring their regions to look 'presidential' while secretly hoping for a viral TikTok moment. A random cat in Paris ended up stealing the spotlight instead. Fact: Did you know De Gaulle was so tall that he had to duck under door frames? Talk about a literal 'big' presence in politics!.
• Headline: DEMOCRATS BEGIN A MAYORAL POLL; National Committee Seeking Unity on Candidate Here DEMOCRATS BEGIN A MAYORAL POLL. Impact: The Democrats' mayoral poll resulted in an unexpected influx of people deciding to run for office, leading to the historic 'Everyone Gets a Campaign' movement—because why should politicians have all the fun?. Fact: Did you know that political polls are just like your high school popularity contests? Except instead of prom king, it’s about who can avoid making a fool of themselves on national television.
• Headline: BORRONE TO CONTEST ELECTION IN HOBOKEN. Impact: Borrone's election contest in Hoboken became a case study for political science classes on how to lose gracefully. It somehow ended with a viral dance-off at the polls. Yes, really. Fact: Did you know that Hoboken is famous for its waterfront views and political drama? Just think of it as the soap opera of New Jersey politics!.
• Headline: PANEL VOTES SHIFT IN SOCIAL SECURITY; Senators Raise Taxes for Incomes Over $4,800. Impact: The Social Security tax increase led to a series of 'how to afford life' seminars that were, ironically, priced out of reach for the very people who needed them. Who knew economic irony could be so rich?. Fact: Did you know that the average person spends more time preparing their taxes than they do preparing for retirement? So much for planning ahead!.
• Headline: End Papers; SALT OF THE EARTH: An Informal Portrait of Richard Cardinal Cushing. By John H. Fenton. Illustrated. 242 pages. Coward-McCann. $5.. Impact: The release of 'Salt of the Earth' created a small cult following among readers who believed they could become as saintly as Cardinal Cushing. This eventually led to a nationwide shortage of salt—ironically, the very thing the book celebrated. Fact: Did you know the book was only $5? Today, that might only buy you a cup of overpriced coffee, which is a sad testament to inflation.
• Headline: Ben-Gurion Bids His Backers Form New Party; Ex-Israeli Premier Calls on Them to Split From Mapai He Wants Projected Group to Put Up Own Candidates. Impact: Ben-Gurion's call for a new party led to a series of splinter groups that eventually resulted in a political landscape more fragmented than a broken mirror. Who knew splitting up could be such a unifying experience?. Fact: Did you know that political parties are like relationships? They often start out strong but can end up with some serious trust issues and a lot of drama.