JUNE 2, 1965

Full News Archive

• Headline: Britain Eases Tax Rules for Exporters. Impact: As Britain eased tax legislation, it set off a chain reaction that led to a currency crisis in which a generation of economists would debate whether the pound was a unit of currency or just a paper airplane in a windstorm.. Fact: This tax cut was so soft that it probably needed a pillow to rest its head on..
• Headline: Jersey Central's New Freight Locomotives. Impact: The introduction of new locomotives didn't just improve freight transport; it also led to the invention of the 'Locomotive Dance' craze in the 1980s, which resulted in countless embarrassing YouTube videos.. Fact: These locomotives were so shiny that they were often mistaken for mobile disco balls!.
• Headline: Fraenkel Triumphs in Milan Composition Contest. Impact: Fraenkel's win in Milan sparked a musical revolution that led to the creation of the genre called 'Milanese Mood Music,' which, despite being a huge flop, inspired the world's worst elevator music.. Fact: They say the prize was for the best composition, but we all know it was really just the best excuse to eat pizza in Milan..
• Headline: DEMOCRATS GLUM; Gerrymander Charged by Zaretzki -- Ruling Hailed by Governor. Impact: The gerrymandering argument was so convoluted that it inspired an entire generation of political cartoonists, leading to a surge in political satire that would confuse even the most seasoned voters.. Fact: If you think gerrymandering is confusing now, just wait until you see the updated version with 3D maps and holograms!.
• Headline: HIGH COURT BARS OIL-AND-TIRE DEAL; Rules That Atlantic Refining Pact to Promote Goodyear Products Is Illegal Move. Impact: The High Court's ruling against the oil-and-tire deal led to a cascade of anti-collusion laws that eventually resulted in a secret society of oil executives who met in basements to plot their comeback in shadowy boardrooms.. Fact: This ruling was so shocking that even the tires rolled away in protest!.
• Headline: Canadians Launch Cable Ship. Impact: The launch of the cable-repair ship was monumental, paving the way for the eventual rise of reality TV shows featuring Canadian Coast Guard members who find love while fixing underwater cables.. Fact: The ship's first mission was so successful that the crew was awarded a lifetime supply of maple syrup..
• Headline: Reserve Board Chief Compares Boom Today With That of 20's; MARTIN RECALLS BOOM OF THE 20'S. Impact: Martin's comparison of the current boom to the 1920s sparked a panic that created an entire sub-genre of historical fiction where characters desperately try to avoid answering the question, 'Are we in another bubble?'. Fact: The last time someone compared a boom to the '20s, we ended up with flappers and jazz—so maybe we should just embrace it!.
• Headline: Johnson to Talk at U.N.'s 20th Anniversary Rites; Plans to Visit San Francisco During Commemoration From June 24 to 26. Impact: Johnson's speech at the U.N.'s 20th Anniversary was so inspiring that it led to a decade of world leaders trying to one-up each other with their own anniversary speeches, resulting in a lot of awkward applause.. Fact: Rumor has it that the U.N. hired a professional speechwriter who once worked for a wedding planner to boost the event's vibe..
• Headline: James Roche Named President Of G.M. as John Gordon Retires; New No. 2 Man of Auto Giant Began With Cadillac Unit as Statistician in 1927 A NEW PRESIDENT IS NAMED AT G.M.. Impact: Roche's ascent within G.M. was the catalyst for the automotive industry to pivot towards electric cars, causing a ripple effect where every car manufacturer suddenly had a mid-life crisis and started making green vehicles.. Fact: Roche's first job was as a statistician, which explains why G.M. kept making the same mistakes—after all, numbers don’t lie, but they can certainly mislead!.