MAY 10, 1965

Full News Archive

• Headline: Yemen's New Parliamentary Framework Announced. Impact: The Yemeni Charter's parliamentary regime set off a chain reaction that led to a series of questionable democratic experiments worldwide, including the infamous 'Democracy by Doodle' initiative in 1975, where citizens literally drew their desired leaders on napkins.. Fact: Did you know that parliamentary democracy is just a fancy way for politicians to argue about who gets the last donut at meetings?.
• Headline: Diplomats Collaborate on Dominican Initiatives. Impact: The Dominican plans being drawn up by diplomats led to an unexpected surge in 'diplomatic' cocktail parties, where the real deals were made over overpriced drinks and hors d'oeuvres.. Fact: Fun fact: Diplomatic negotiations often involve more backroom deals than a high school student council election!.
• Headline: U.S. Air Strikes on Hanoi Uncertain. Impact: By not bombing Hanoi, the U.S. inadvertently allowed a whole generation of future conspiracy theorists to debate whether a secret airstrike actually took place in 1973, leading to endless YouTube videos of 'What If' scenarios.. Fact: Did you know that leaving things open-ended is not just a tactic in U.S. foreign policy, but also in TV show finales?.
• Headline: Two More G.I.'s Killed. Impact: The deaths of the two G.I.'s sparked a wave of protests that eventually led to the invention of the popular protest chant, 'Two G.I.'s, Too Many!', which became a staple in anti-war demonstrations.. Fact: It's a tragic reality that every war seems to come with a body count and a catchy slogan. How quaint..
• Headline: Mackell Defends Offtrack Betting; Passage in Doubt; MACKELL DEFENDS OFFTRACK BETTING. Impact: Mackell's defense of offtrack betting inspired an unexpected movement for 'casual gambling' in workplaces, leading to office pools on everything from lunch orders to when the copier would jam next.. Fact: Offtrack betting: Because who doesn’t want to gamble on which horse will run faster while stuck in a cubicle?.
• Headline: Hopkins Tests New Device. Impact: The successful testing of the intrauterine contraceptive device marked the beginning of an era where awkward family discussions about 'the birds and the bees' were replaced by 'the devices and the IUDs'.. Fact: Intrauterine devices: Because who doesn't want a tiny T-shaped reminder of their reproductive choices?.
• Headline: STUDY FINDS JOBS OFTEN GO BEGGING; Industrial Board Advocates Detailed Vacancy Figures, Listed by Occupation EMPLOYERS BACK PLAN Survey in Rochester Area Indicates More Openings Than State Reported. Impact: The revelation that jobs go begging sparked a nationwide trend where employers began blaming their hiring woes on everything from astrology to the alignment of the planets.. Fact: Did you know that the best way to avoid hiring someone is to claim you can’t find anyone qualified? It’s like magic!.