MAY 5, 1965

Full News Archive

• Headline: Ritter Corp Name Change Announcement. Impact: The name change from Ritter to Ritter Corp triggered a series of corporate rebranding efforts that ultimately led to the modern obsession with absurdly long company names. Thanks, Ritter! Now we have companies like 'Ritter, Inc. - Your Friendly Neighborhood Widget Makers, LLC'.. Fact: Did you know that changing a company's name can lead to an identity crisis? Just ask any teenager..
• Headline: East Orange Charter Amendment Confirmed. Impact: The extension of City Councilmen's terms created a ripple effect that inspired all sorts of 'permanent' political positions. Fast forward to the future where people are running for office just to avoid doing their taxes.. Fact: Fun fact: The term 'politician' is derived from 'poly' meaning 'many' and 'tician' meaning 'the act of being annoying'..
• Headline: Colonel Caamano becomes President of Dominican Republic. Impact: Caamano's rise to power and demand for U.S. withdrawal planted the seeds for future political debates about sovereignty and intervention. Who knew that a Colonel in a park could influence foreign policy for decades?. Fact: Fun fact: The term 'Colonel' has an interesting history; it used to refer to someone who could actually lead troops, not just wear a chicken suit..
• Headline: HOUSE PANEL ACTS; President Appears to Seek Endorsement of His Policies JOHNSON SEEKING VIETNAM FUNDS. Impact: Johnson's push for Vietnam funding led to a never-ending cycle of political endorsements that would haunt politicians for generations. Now every campaign looks like a bad infomercial.. Fact: Did you know that the most effective way to get public support is still to promise free pizza? It’s a classic!.
• Headline: Marines Advance 4 Blocks To Expand Refugee Haven; U.S. Forces Widen Perimeter Of Dominican Refugee Haven. Impact: The expansion of the U.S. Refugee Haven set a precedent for the U.S. military getting involved in humanitarian efforts, which would later inspire countless Hollywood movies. Because who doesn't love a good hero story?. Fact: Did you know that the Marines are like the Swiss Army Knife of the military? They can do a little bit of everything, including making coffee under fire..
• Headline: Shulton, Inc.. Impact: Shulton Inc.’s acquisition spree sparked the beginning of corporate mergers that would eventually lead to mega-corporations controlling everything from your coffee to your toothpaste. It's all fun and games until they start merging with your love life.. Fact: Did you know that mergers are like marriages? They often end in tears, lawyers, and a lot of awkward holiday dinners..
• Headline: U.S. PRESSES O.A.S. FOR PEACE FORCE; Vote on Dominican Project Delayed by Negotiations. Impact: The pressure on the O.A.S. to create a peace force set the stage for future diplomatic negotiations that would result in more paperwork than actual peace. Who knew peace could be so bureaucratic?. Fact: Did you know that peacekeeping is often less about keeping the peace and more about keeping the coffee pot filled for all those meetings?.
• Headline: Peking Sees Acceleration Of U.S. 'Defeat' in Vietnam. Impact: Peking's declaration of U.S. defeat in Vietnam led to a cascade of events that made 'defeat' a trendy topic in geopolitical circles. It's like a global game of telephone, but with nuclear ramifications.. Fact: Did you know that the word 'defeat' comes from the Latin 'defatigare', which means to tire out? Sounds about right for U.S. troops in Vietnam..
• Headline: State Plans to Establish Office on Urban Education. Impact: The establishment of an Urban Education office foreshadowed the endless meetings and policy papers that would follow, ultimately resulting in more confusion than actual urban education reform. Good luck finding a classroom that isn’t a labyrinth!. Fact: Did you know that urban education offices are like black holes? They suck in resources and spit out endless bureaucracy..
• Headline: U. S. Charge Ridiculed. Impact: The ridicule of the U.S. Charge led to a long-standing tradition of diplomatic banter that still exists today. Who knew that mockery could be an official diplomatic strategy?. Fact: Did you know that the best way to handle international relations is through sarcasm? Just ask any diplomat who's been to a roast..