APRIL 2, 1965

Full News Archive

• Headline: Pittsburgh Unions End Coal Company Strike. Impact: The easing of this strike led to a sudden influx of coal, which unwittingly fueled a 1970s disco party. Imagine people grooving to the tunes while coal dust settled on their polyester suits. You can thank these unions for the awkward dance moves of a generation.. Fact: Fun fact: The last time unions and disco met was at a labor rally where everyone just ended up doing the Hustle instead of bargaining..
• Headline: C.B.S. Reveals Aubrey Holdings Details. Impact: Aubrey's stock options created a ripple effect that led to the creation of countless 'stock market guru' influencers on social media. Who knew one man's financial decision would birth a thousand self-proclaimed financial advisors?. Fact: Did you know that stock options are often the only options some people have? Just ask anyone who invested in Blockbuster..
• Headline: Young Chemist Receives Prestigious Award. Impact: By honoring this student, the chemists inadvertently created a new wave of chemists who would go on to develop the world's most addictive soda. Yes, the bubbles were born that day.. Fact: Did you know that the Liebmann Award is often referred to as the 'Promise of Fizz' award in secret chemist circles? Okay, maybe not, but it should be..
• Headline: KENYANS IN UPROAR ON ARMS SMUGGLING. Impact: This uproar led to a series of diplomatic faux pas that ended with a Kenyan official accidentally ordering 500,000 rubber duckies instead of arms. So, while tensions rose, the sea of ducks brought some unintended joy.. Fact: Did you know that rubber duckies are considered a weapon of mass distraction? Just ask any parent at bath time..
• Headline: Senate Bars 'Blank Check' To Johnson on Saigon Aid; BLANK CHECK' BID BY JOHNSON FAILS. Impact: This refusal not only stopped a financial free-for-all but also resulted in a Senate poker game that lasted for years. Spoiler alert: no one left the table happy.. Fact: Did you know that 'blank checks' are the reason why some politicians have an aversion to coloring books? True story!.
• Headline: BRITISH PLAN TO PAY DISPLACED WORKERS. Impact: While well-intentioned, this plan inadvertently led to a surge in British people becoming professional couch potatoes, as they discovered the joys of paid unemployment. Thanks, automation!. Fact: Did you know that the term 'displaced worker' was originally coined by a British baker who lost his job to a rogue toaster? Just imagine the burnt toast that followed..
• Headline: President Would Like Teaching in Retirement. Impact: Johnson's desire to teach sparked an unprecedented wave of former presidents seeking teaching gigs. Now, classrooms are filled with history lessons turning into soapbox debates.. Fact: Did you know that teaching is just a fancy way of saying 'I want to hear my own voice for a few more years'?.
• Headline: STRIKES DISRUPT 2 BIG STORES HERE; Executives Handle Sales at Stern's and Bloomingdale's 3,000 Picket at Bloomingdale's; Employes Also Strike at Stern's. Impact: This strike led to the invention of the 'executive sale' where suits and ties were suddenly deemed essential retail gear. Who knew that capitalism could look so formal?. Fact: Did you know that the last time executives handled sales, they accidentally sold a million-dollar painting for a pair of shoes? Fashion faux pas at its finest!.
• Headline: Shuffle in Nigerian Cabinet Adds 13 to Government Roll. Impact: This cabinet shuffle led to a new trend in politics where every shuffle included a bonus government position. Soon, entire teams were formed solely to shuffle the cabinet.. Fact: Did you know that political shuffling is a popular dance move in Nigeria? Just ask any politician trying to avoid accountability!.
• Headline: LISBON POLICE HALT UNIVERSITY PROTEST. Impact: The police intervention sparked a series of protests that inadvertently led to the formation of the world's first 'Protest Club' where students learned to protest in organized, fun-filled events.. Fact: Did you know that the original motto of the 'Protest Club' was 'Let's make protesting fun!'? It was later changed after one too many inflatable protest signs popped..