APRIL 1, 1965

Full News Archive

• Headline: New Vice President Appointed by Big Board. Impact: The naming of J W O'Reilly as VP set off a chain reaction of corporate ladder climbing that ultimately led to the birth of the infamous 'office plant' culture. Because who needs actual leadership when you can just add a fern to the boardroom?. Fact: Did you know that in many companies, the vice president is simply the person who can fetch coffee the fastest? True story..
• Headline: F. & M. Schaefer's New Leadership. Impact: W M Schaefer's election sparked a decade-long debate over whether or not a director can actually be trusted, leading to the invention of the phrase 'trust but verify'—which was subsequently ignored anyway.. Fact: Fun fact: Making decisions in corporate boards is often like playing poker with a bunch of people who can’t read the room—lots of bluffing and no one knows when to fold..
• Headline: Speeder's Rights Expansion in Court Decision. Impact: This ruling led to an influx of lawyers specializing in traffic cases, which in turn caused the legal profession to become even more bloated than it already was. Now, every speeding ticket comes with a side of legal jargon.. Fact: Did you know that before this ruling, traffic court was basically just a game of 'who can shout the loudest'? Thank goodness for lawyers!.
• Headline: NEW HAVEN LINE AGREES TO JOIN PENNSY-CENTRAL; $140 Million Offer Accepted Pending I.C.C. Approval -Passenger Runs Doubtful. Impact: The merger created a ripple effect that led to an explosion of train delays, which in turn inspired the phrase 'I’ll be there in five minutes' to mean 'I’m still in bed.'. Fact: Amusingly, many people still believe that trains run on time. Spoiler alert: they don’t..
• Headline: Lodge Warns U.S. to Avoid 'Easy Way Out' in Vietnam. Impact: This warning had the unintended effect of causing politicians to overthink every decision, leading to the creation of the phrase 'let’s not rush into things'—which is now the motto of every procrastinator in the nation.. Fact: Fun fact: The 'easy way out' is what a lot of people call their couch after a long day. Just saying..
• Headline: Pilots Begin Strike At Pan American As Talks Collapse; PILOTS WALK OUT AT PAN AMERICAN. Impact: The pilots' strike caused a nationwide panic over flight delays, which led to the invention of the ‘staycation’—a trend that made millions of Americans experts in their own living rooms.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'are we there yet?' was actually invented by disgruntled passengers during a flight delay? Groundbreaking..
• Headline: TV: Finding a New Term for Educational Video; Leader of Ad Agency Heads Committee. Impact: The committee’s search for a new term accidentally led to the rise of 'infomercials,' which now teach us that we can solve all our problems with just three easy payments. Who knew education could be so profitable?. Fact: Ironically, educational videos were once thought to be boring—but they paved the way for reality TV. Now that's a plot twist!.
• Headline: American Aides at Danang Arrest U.S. Photographer. Impact: This event highlighted the paranoia of the time, which led to a series of increasingly ridiculous security measures that left everyone wondering if they should just wear tinfoil hats.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'don’t shoot the messenger' was often used in the military? But in this case, they probably meant it literally..
• Headline: CANADA AUTO PACT GOES TO CONGRESS; Johnson Offers a Bill to End Tariff on Cars and Parts. Impact: The Canada Auto Pact's passage incited a wave of cross-border shopping that forever changed the way Americans thought about their car tires—who knew they could come from somewhere other than their local dealer?. Fact: Fun fact: Many people still think that 'pact' refers to a type of vehicle—like a compact car. Spoiler: it doesn’t..
• Headline: SUBJECT WAS ROSES' IS REPAYING ANGELS. Impact: The repayment plan inspired a whole new genre of motivational quotes about 'giving back,' which eventually led to the rise of social media influencers who are convinced they invented kindness.. Fact: Did you know that roses are actually a metaphor for financial agreements? Because they sure can have thorns!.