MARCH 31, 1965

Full News Archive

• Headline: Aerial Spray Initiative on Long Island. Impact: This aerial spraying not only protected the trees but also created a new breed of super-cheap, chemically enhanced gypsy moths that started their own reality TV show, 'Real Moths of Long Island.'. Fact: Did you know that spraying chemicals from the sky was once considered a 'new and innovative' solution? Now we just call that 'Tuesday.'.
• Headline: Brownstone Tenants Fight Eviction. Impact: The fight against eviction by these tenants sparked a series of similar protests across the country, ultimately leading to 'Renters' Rights' becoming a buzzword in every hipster café, where avocado toast is served with a side of activism.. Fact: Did you know that fighting eviction is basically the adult version of a playground fight? Only, instead of swings, it involves lawyers and very serious discussions about leases..
• Headline: State Sales Tax Believed Dead; Albany to Seek Revenue Ideas; ALBANY TO SEEK NEW TAX IDEAS. Impact: This belief led to a temporary halt in any creative tax solutions, paving the way for the invention of more complex tax codes that only accountants can decipher, while the average citizen just prays for a refund.. Fact: Did you know that tax ideas are like bad movies? They keep getting made, despite nobody wanting to see them..
• Headline: LIMITED VACCINE FOR CANCER SEEN; Specialist Says Studies Are Hampered by Lack of Data. Impact: The limitations on cancer vaccine research led to a decade of procrastination in cancer treatments, which would later cause the scientific community to have an existential crisis every time they opened a new funding application.. Fact: Did you know that lack of data is basically the science world's equivalent of 'the dog ate my homework?'.
• Headline: 80 Negroes Quietly March In Mississippi Vote Drive. Impact: This quiet march laid the groundwork for future civil rights movements, where people learned that sometimes all it takes is a small group to shake things up—like a hipster barista with a strong opinion.. Fact: Did you know that 80 people marching quietly is still louder than the average internet troll? Just saying..
• Headline: Full Investigation of Klan Voted by House Committee; INQUIRY INTO KLAN IS VOTED BY PANEL. Impact: The investigation into the Klan sparked a wave of scrutiny against hate groups, leading to awkward family reunions where everyone pretended they didn’t know Uncle Bob was secretly wearing a white hood.. Fact: Did you know that investigating hate groups is like cleaning out your attic? You find a lot of stuff you wish you never had to deal with..
• Headline: U.S. and Vietnamese Raid Key Air Base in the North; Donghoi Is Hit Hard -- Attack Planned Before Bombing of Embassy AIR BASE RAIDED IN NORTH VIETNAM. Impact: The raid on the air base inadvertently inspired a new genre of action movies, where dramatic military operations became the go-to plot for every summer blockbuster.. Fact: Did you know that bombing air bases is basically the original way of saying 'let's make some noise'—just with a lot more paperwork involved?.
• Headline: Accused Physician Has Resigned Post At Women's Prison. Impact: The resignation of the physician at the women's prison opened a floodgate of lawsuits and a surprising number of TV dramas based on the scandal, leading to an unexpected spike in medical dramas.. Fact: Did you know that resigning under pressure is the adult equivalent of throwing your hands up and saying 'fine, I didn't want to play anyway!'.