FEBRUARY 25, 1965

Full News Archive

• Headline: New Leadership at the Board of Trade. Impact: The appointment of J.T. Gill as president of the Board of Trade led to a series of financial decisions that resulted in the first-ever 'banker influencer' on social media. Who knew a banker could tweet about stocks and send the economy into a spiral?. Fact: Did you know that in 1964, the only 'likes' bankers got were from their moms? Now they need social media managers..
• Headline: Student Riot Disrupts Rostow's Lecture. Impact: The student riot against W.W. Rostow sparked a global movement for student rights, leading to the eventual establishment of 'No Lecture Zones' worldwide. Imagine a world where students could peacefully nap during lectures!. Fact: Fun fact: Student riots have been known to increase the caffeine intake of professors by 200%..
• Headline: Tokyo Belittles Reduction; JAPAN BELITTLES BRITISH DUTY CUT. Impact: Japan's dismissal of the British duty cut triggered an unseen rivalry that led to the invention of sushi burritos as a way to combine cultures and compete in the culinary battlefield of the 21st century.. Fact: Fun fact: The sushi burrito was actually invented in a secret meeting between a Japanese chef and a hipster in a coffee shop..
• Headline: HARRY R. AMOTT, 74, ASCUmT!SoAs. Impact: Harry R. Amott's life and mysterious acronymic legacy led to the creation of a secret society that still debates what ASCUmT!SoAs really stands for. It's believed to involve ancient wisdom and really bad puns.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more confusing than Harry R. Amott's initials is trying to pronounce 'ASCUmT!SoAs' after three cups of coffee?.
• Headline: C.I.T. MAKES OFFER TO PURCHASE BANK; Finance Concern Seeks to Buy Meadow Brook for $116 Million in Cash. Impact: The acquisition of Meadow Brook by C.I.T. set off a chain reaction of bank mergers that eventually led to a reality show called 'The Real Bankers of Wall Street.' Spoiler alert: drama ensues.. Fact: Fun fact: The first season of 'The Real Bankers' didn't include any actual banking; it was mostly just brunch..
• Headline: Goldwater's Auto Is Stolen. Impact: Goldwater's stolen car inadvertently sparked a nationwide debate on vehicle security, leading to the invention of the first car alarm—a device that alerts you while doing absolutely nothing to stop the thief.. Fact: Did you know that car alarms were originally designed to help thieves find cars faster?.
• Headline: Australia Is Urged To Press Oil Hunt; AUSTRALIA URGED TO PRESS OIL HUNT. Impact: Australia’s push for oil exploration led to an unexpected increase in the popularity of vegemite sandwiches, as the government needed to distract the public from environmental concerns. Who doesn’t love a good sandwich?. Fact: Fun fact: Vegemite was initially marketed as a fuel alternative, but people just preferred spreading it on toast..
• Headline: U.S. JET BOMBERS ATTACK VIETCONG; FIRST SUCH STRIKE; Crews Are Solely American, Another Change in Policy in War in the South SAIGON REQUESTED STEP Massing of Guerrilla Units, a Shift in Tactics, Called Reason for the Flights U.S. Jet Bombers Attack the Vietcong. Impact: The U.S. jet bombers' strike on the Vietcong marked a turning point that led to a new genre of military-themed video games—because nothing screams 'fun' like virtual warfare over breakfast.. Fact: Did you know that the original version of these games had a 'pause' button that only worked when you were out of snacks?.
• Headline: Israel Will Not Block Book Discussing 'Lavon Affair'. Impact: Israel's decision not to block the book on the Lavon Affair opened the floodgates for historical revisionism, leading to the creation of 'choose-your-own-adventure' history books. Spoiler: everyone survives.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more confusing than the Lavon Affair is trying to read a history book on the toilet..