FEBRUARY 12, 1965

Full News Archive

• Headline: Gilbert Miller's Theater Transition at 80. Impact: If Gilbert had sold the theater 10 years earlier, Broadway might've adopted a new genre: 'Senior Citizen Theater' featuring the dramatic tales of bingo nights and early bird specials.. Fact: Gilbert Miller at 80 decided to slow down, which is basically the universe's way of telling you that theater is not a sprint, it's a very, very long marathon..
• Headline: Butler Becomes Opposition Leader in Rhodesia. Impact: D Butler’s rise to power may have inadvertently led to the creation of a new cocktail: the 'Rhodesian Rumble', which is just a mix of regret and questionable political decisions.. Fact: The Rhodesia Party's elections were like reality TV without the cameras—lots of drama, but nobody can quite remember who won..
• Headline: Algeria and China: Military Pact Signed. Impact: Signing an arms pact with Red China apparently set off a chain reaction that resulted in every country thinking they needed a buddy with weapons—cue the global game of 'Who's Got the Bigger Arsenal?'.. Fact: This pact was like a 'Let's be friends' note, but with a lot more firepower and a lot less sincerity..
• Headline: Kennedy Denies Taking Sides in State. Impact: Kennedy's careful wording may have inspired future politicians to master the art of speaking without actually saying anything—an essential skill still in heavy use today.. Fact: Kennedy’s attempts to appear neutral are essentially the political equivalent of saying 'I’m not picking sides' while secretly rooting for the underdog..
• Headline: Avco Corporation Acquires Abrasive Products Unit. Impact: This acquisition sparked a revolution in corporate mergers, leading to every company wanting to gobble up smaller units like it was a buffet—enter the era of corporate gluttony.. Fact: Avco's acquisition was just another reminder that in the corporate world, it's all about who can grind the competition into dust..
• Headline: COAST THEATERS PLAN EXPANSIONS; San Francisco Set Back as Blau and Irving Depart. Impact: The theater expansions led to a massive influx of aspiring actors who thought they could make it big—resulting in countless cringe-worthy auditions that will echo through time.. Fact: The theater world is so dramatic; even the buildings have plot twists—Blau and Irving's departure was the equivalent of a cliffhanger ending..
• Headline: POLICEMAN LOSES 'BATTLE' WITH U.N.; Sent to Harlem for Alleged Insult to Double-Parker, the Syrian Ambassador. Impact: This incident likely inspired future police policies about parking enforcement, creating a ripple effect of officers avoiding double parking like it was a landmine.. Fact: Double-parking has caused more diplomatic incidents than you'd think—who knew that a car could be a weapon of international conflict?.
• Headline: HANOI IS AGGRESSOR, SAIGON WRITES U.N.. Impact: Saigon’s letter to the U.N. set off a series of diplomatic blame games that would make even the most seasoned players in the blame game cringe with secondhand embarrassment.. Fact: This letter was like the world's worst group project—everyone pointing fingers while the real work was just left undone..
• Headline: CHEKHOV DISLIKED THE ART THEATER; He Blamed Stanislavsky for Ruining His 'Comedies'. Impact: Chekhov's disdain for the Art Theater likely inspired every playwright who has ever felt their work was misunderstood—because nothing says 'I’m a genius' like blaming someone else for your failures.. Fact: Chekhov's issues with Stanislavsky are basically the original writer-director feud—proof that even geniuses have drama in their lives..
• Headline: 2 JEWISH LEADERS PROTEST ART BAN; Dr. Prinz and Rabbi Schenk Shocked by Rejection of Memorials in Park. Impact: This protest may have sparked a long-standing tradition of using parks for protest, leading to many more grassroots movements—mostly centered around how parks should be used for more than just picnics.. Fact: When it comes to memorials, sometimes it feels like they have a better chance of being accepted than a proposal for a new condiment at a hot dog stand..