JANUARY 12, 1965

Full News Archive

• Headline: W E Hearnes Becomes Missouri Governor. Impact: W E Hearnes becoming Governor of Missouri sparked a chain reaction of political decisions that ultimately led to Missouri being known as the 'Show Me State'—a moniker that still haunts politicians to this day, as they struggle to prove they're not just talking heads.. Fact: Did you know that being sworn in as governor is basically just a glorified way of saying, 'I promise to do my best while dodging all the tough questions.'.
• Headline: Rivals Demand F.C.C. Decision on COMSAT. Impact: The push for the F.C.C. ruling over COMSAT led to an era of corporate greed that has since turned cable TV into a battle of endless commercials and overpriced packages. Thanks, rivals!. Fact: Did you know that the F.C.C. stands for 'Fascinating Corporate Control'? Just kidding, but only slightly..
• Headline: Concorde's Bilateral Agreement Approaches. Impact: The Brit-French compromise on the Concorde not only resulted in supersonic travel but also laid the groundwork for future international collaborations—like deciding who gets the last croissant at breakfast.. Fact: Did you know the Concorde was so fast it could outrun a rumor? Too bad it didn’t outrun the financial issues that grounded it..
• Headline: TEXAS FINANCIER GUILTY OF FRAUD; Sandblom Pleads No Contest on 24 Federal Counts. Impact: Sandblom's fraud conviction is a classic 'what goes around comes around' story, reinforcing the age-old lesson that if you play with fire, you’ll get burned—or in this case, go to federal prison.. Fact: Did you know that pleading 'no contest' is just legalese for 'I’d rather not talk about it'? Good luck with that in court!.
• Headline: Australia's Immigration Policy Queried in View of Slow Growth. Impact: Australia's immigration policy debates opened the floodgates to diversity discussions, which still echo in today's political arena, proving that some conversations just never go out of style—unfortunately.. Fact: Did you know that 'slow growth' in Australia doesn’t refer to the economy but rather the time it takes for a kangaroo to hop across the road?.
• Headline: Indiana's 42d Governor. Impact: The swearing in of Gov. Branigin marked another chapter in Indiana's political saga, where each governor tries to outdo the last in raising corn production—because that’s the real legacy, right?. Fact: Did you know that Indiana has had more governors than most states have had good ideas? But hey, corn is always a solid backup plan..
• Headline: WORLD ZIONISTS BESET BY DOUBT; Congress Ends Amid Signs of Weakening of Purpose. Impact: The discord at the World Zionist Congress foreshadowed decades of turmoil in Middle Eastern politics, proving that when you can't agree on a plan, the consequences can ripple through generations like a never-ending headache.. Fact: Did you know that 'weakening of purpose' is a diplomatic way of saying 'we're all just here for the snacks'?.
• Headline: Cloud Wampler Retires As Chief of Carrier Corp.. Impact: Cloud Wampler's retirement from Carrier Corp. left a vacancy that allowed a new generation of executives to come in and ask the age-old question: 'How do we cut costs while maintaining our billion-dollar profits?'. Fact: Did you know that retirement is just corporate lingo for 'I’m going to take a long vacation and hope nobody notices?'.
• Headline: Shoe-Workers End Strike. Impact: The end of the shoe-workers strike may have led to a brief period of peace, but ultimately just paved the way for more automated factories—because who needs workers when machines can do the job?. Fact: Did you know that shoe workers ending a strike usually just means they found a better way to dodge the boss? Sneaky, right?.
• Headline: Arabs, Ending Parley, Ask Unity on Lands Aiding Israel. Impact: The Arab League's call for unity against foreign support for Israel set the stage for decades of political maneuvering and alliances that resemble a game of chess—except with far more pieces and much less transparency.. Fact: Did you know that asking for unity in politics is like asking cats to form a pack? Good luck with that!.