DECEMBER 31, 1964

Full News Archive

• Headline: President Appoints Panel on Public Lands. Impact: This panel on lands triggered a series of bureaucratic meetings that eventually birthed the modern-day land use permit process. Thanks, President, for ensuring that no one can ever build a shed without a three-year review!. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing less popular than a land panel is a land panel meeting. Just ask the people who have to attend them!.
• Headline: Checkers the Dog's Grave Honor. Impact: Checkers the dog being honored with a headstone led to the rise of pet cemeteries and, eventually, the concept of 'Celebrities Who Love Their Pets More Than People'. Thanks, Nixon, for setting that bar!. Fact: Did you know that Checkers was possibly the first dog to receive a headstone? Take that, all the other dogs who were just buried in the backyard!.
• Headline: BENNETTE E. GEER, HEADED FURMAN U.; Former Textile Executive in South Carolina Dies. Impact: Geer's passing marked the end of an era, leading to the decline of textile manufacturing in the South. This also paved the way for the current obsession with artisanal everything!. Fact: Did you know that Bennette E. Geer was known for his hand-knit sweaters? Just kidding, but wouldn’t that be delightful?.
• Headline: WORLD SWIM GROUP APPROVES 15 MARKS. Impact: The approval of 15 world swim records inadvertently led to an increase in people trying to break them. This created a global phenomenon of wannabe Michael Phelpses, resulting in more awkward swimwear than you can imagine.. Fact: Fun fact: The most popular swimming technique among record-breakers? The 'flail and hope' method!.
• Headline: NEW HAVEN LINE REPORTED READY TO REDUCE RUNS; May Seek Permission Next Month—Lack of Word on Subsidy a Factor. Impact: The New Haven Line's plans to cut runs led to the rise of carpooling, which somehow turned into a thing where people sing show tunes during the commute. Thanks for the musical interlude, transportation cuts!. Fact: Did you know that commuter train delays are actually just the universe's way of telling you to appreciate the beauty of silence? Or to download more podcasts?.
• Headline: 56‐HOUR TALK FAILS IN REFINERY STRIKE. Impact: The failure of the 56-hour talk during the refinery strike highlighted the inefficiency of negotiations, eventually leading to the birth of the phrase 'let's just agree to disagree' in labor relations.. Fact: Did you know that after 56 hours, the only thing people really agree on is that they need snacks?.
• Headline: Mrs. Irene Guiney, Teacher Of President Kennedy, Dies. Impact: Mrs. Irene Guiney's death meant that no one could ever verify if JFK really did learn anything in school. This left historians guessing whether he was just winging it all along.. Fact: Did you know that being a teacher of a future president is just a fancy way of saying you were a glorified babysitter?.
• Headline: A Sensor in the Eyes of Pigeons Is Linked to Skills in Navigation. Impact: The discovery linking pigeons' navigation skills to a sensor in their eyes caused a major shift in how we view avian intelligence. Suddenly, pigeons weren't just flying rats anymore; they were feathered geniuses!. Fact: Did you know that pigeons have been navigating urban landscapes long before GPS? And they do it without even needing a smartphone!.