DECEMBER 11, 1964

Full News Archive

• Headline: Democrats Propose Key Apportionment Bills. Impact: The drafting of those two bills led to an infinite loop of political wrangling, which eventually inspired a reality TV show called 'Apportionment Wars: The Committee Strikes Back.' Viewers became obsessed, and now we have a generation of politicians who think they can solve issues with dramatic gestures instead of actual policy.. Fact: Did you know that the last time someone thought creating a committee would solve everything, they ended up with a committee that only met for coffee breaks?.
• Headline: France Faces Widespread Power Strike. Impact: The power strike sparked a nationwide movement that inspired the creation of 'Protest Picnics,' where people gathered in the dark to eat sandwiches and discuss revolution. It was the first event that combined hunger and activism in a way that left everyone both satisfied and starving.. Fact: Fun fact: the French Revolution started in a similar way, but with slightly less cheese and a lot more guillotines..
• Headline: G.O.P. to Give Alternatives. Impact: The GOP's alternative plans triggered a chain reaction of political maneuvering that resulted in the invention of 'Political Poker.' The game is played by representatives who bluff their way through legislation, with the winner getting to sit in the front row during State of the Union addresses.. Fact: Turns out, the only thing more confusing than political strategies is trying to explain them to someone who doesn't care..
• Headline: JEWISH AID GROUP CITES RISING NEED; J.D.C. SeekiNg $28.8 Million for 465,000 Refugees. Impact: The rising need for aid led to an unexpected boom in charity runs, where instead of running for health, people were just running to escape their own problems. The irony was not lost on anyone.. Fact: Did you know that fundraising events now involve more social media posts than actual fundraising? The more hashtags, the more money, apparently!.
• Headline: One Wounded in Argentina As Police Battle Peronists. Impact: The police clash ignited a spark of civil unrest that eventually led to the creation of 'Peronist Potluck' gatherings, where people would come together to share food and grievances while discussing political philosophy. It was like a book club, but with more shouting.. Fact: One wounded? In political terms, that's just a Tuesday. Welcome to the world where protests are basically just social gatherings with a side of chaos..
• Headline: RUSSIAN DEFENDS KHRUSHCHEV PLAN; Supreme Soviet Hears Plea to Keep Industry Councils. Impact: The defense of Khrushchev's plan led to a series of increasingly bizarre Soviet policies, culminating in the infamous 'No Praise for Ordinary People' law, which left citizens wondering if they should just stop being ordinary.. Fact: Remember, in the USSR, not being praised was seen as a privilege. Who knew mediocrity could be so revolutionary?.
• Headline: Italy Without Newspapers. Impact: The newspaper shutdown led to the rise of underground newsletters that became the precursor to today's blogs. Suddenly, everyone was a journalist, and the world spiraled into a vortex of unsolicited opinions.. Fact: Fun fact: the last time Italy went without newspapers, everyone just started talking to each other. Imagine the horror!.