NOVEMBER 17, 1964

Full News Archive

• Headline: Cambodia Postpones U.S. Embassy Dismissals. Impact: The delay in ousting U.S. staff from Cambodia led to an unforeseen rise in the popularity of Cambodian restaurants in the U.S. decades later, as people started to crave the exotic flavors after hearing about the ongoing political drama. Coincidence? I think not.. Fact: Did you know that ‘Langguth’ is not a type of Cambodian noodle dish? Just checking..
• Headline: Harold Baily: Libraries' Esteemed Advocate Passes. Impact: Harold Baily's death closed the chapter on a significant era of library innovation, setting off a chain reaction that ultimately led to the rise of e-books and the inevitable decline of physical book sales. Thanks, Harold!. Fact: Harold was 77 when he died, which is approximately 3,000 library books old in terms of literary wisdom..
• Headline: Ban on Publicizing Confessions Ordered by Jersey High Court; Prejudicial Statements to News Media Before and at Criminal Trials Barred. Impact: The court's decision to ban publicizing confessions resulted in a future where criminals got better public relations advice than their lawyers. Who knew crime could be so strategic?. Fact: Pre-trial publicity is like that one friend who can’t keep a secret; it ruins everything and you can’t unfollow them..
• Headline: Report Baffles Officers. Impact: The bafflement of U.S. officers over pilotless planes not being revealed led to a decades-long obsession with drones, which now monitor your every move while you shop for groceries. Thanks for the heads up, guys!. Fact: Baffled officers are probably just a few poorly placed coffee cups away from a conspiracy theory about pilotless planes being the perfect plot twist in a B-movie..
• Headline: Analysis of Satellite Finds Slight Danger of Puncture From Meteorites. Impact: Dr. Van Allen’s report on meteorite risks led to the creation of mandatory 'Space Helmet Awareness' classes for future astronauts, which are still mocked by children on Earth today.. Fact: The Van Allen belts are not a trendy new chain of gyms; they actually refer to zones of radiation in space. Space aerobics, anyone?.
• Headline: International Team Visits Massachusetts Atom Plant. Impact: The International Atomic Energy Agency's inspection of the Massachusetts Atom Plant set off a global obsession with nuclear energy and the subsequent debate over its safety that still makes headlines today. Talk about a hot topic!. Fact: ‘Peaceful use’ of nuclear energy sounds like a bad title for a sitcom, doesn’t it? Coming soon to a theater near you..
• Headline: SALARIES OF M.M.P.'S RAISED BY BRITAIN; Wilson and Ministers Also to Get Large Increases. Impact: The salary raise for M.M.P.s led to a future where politicians not only get paid more but also seem to think they need to justify their decisions with ‘great’ ideas like tax cuts for the wealthy. Thanks for the upward spiral!. Fact: Being a politician is like being a magician: you make money disappear and everyone pretends to be amazed..
• Headline: YOUTH UNIT WINS EXPERTS' PRAISE; Report to U.S. Panel Calls for Complete Support of Mobilization's Work. Impact: The report on youth mobilization led to a flurry of government programs aimed at understanding juvenile delinquency, ultimately resulting in the rise of reality TV shows that exploit troubled teens. Progress?. Fact: Reports on juvenile delinquency are the adult version of a kid saying, ‘It's not my fault!’ but with more paperwork and fewer tantrums..