OCTOBER 21, 1964

Full News Archive

• Headline: Youth Sent for Mental Evaluation Post-Slaying. Impact: If only Ebbs had been sent to a magic school instead of a hospital, he might have learned to conjure up a better fate. Little did they know, this incident would spark a long debate on mental health evaluations in the U.S. that still lingers today, like an unwelcome guest at a dinner party. Fact: In the grand scheme of things, the age of 7 is still the most dangerous age to be in a fairy tale. No one ever gets out unscathed.
• Headline: Rail Panel Endorses Pay Rise for Workers. Impact: This pay rise could have prompted a nationwide trend of workers demanding more money, which in turn might have led to a massive economic revolution, or at least a lot of unhappy bosses. Thanks, railroads, for making sure we all know how to complain about our salaries!. Fact: 27 cents an hour? Wow, they must've been living large! I can't even buy a cup of coffee for that—oh wait, inflation.
• Headline: 14 Football Figures Named To Hall of Honor on Coast. Impact: These Hall of Honor inductees would go on to inspire generations of aspiring football players, who would all inevitably realize they couldn't throw a spiral to save their lives, leading to a rise in coaching clinics and a decline in backyard games. Fact: Being inducted into a Hall of Fame is basically the adult version of getting a gold star in kindergarten. But hey, at least they get a plaque!.
• Headline: UNESCO VOTES, 50‐35, TO BAR CHINESE REDS. Impact: This decision to bar the Chinese Communists would ripple through the decades, leading to countless discussions about who gets a seat at the international table—and the answer is usually 'not China,' causing a lot of global eye-rolling. Fact: UNESCO's meetings are like high school lunch tables: everyone wants to sit with the cool kids, but nobody wants to invite the shy kid from the corner.
• Headline: Castle & Cooke Acquires Control of Standard Fruit. Impact: The acquisition made by Castle & Cooke would later be seen as a stepping stone toward corporate conglomeration, leading to the age of mega-corporations where your local grocery store is just a branch of a multinational empire. Yay, capitalism!. Fact: Castle & Cooke? Sounds like a law firm for pirates. Arrr, matey, let’s negotiate over some bananas!.
• Headline: Guiana Governor Revokes Seven‐Day‐Detention Law. Impact: Revoking the detention law was like pulling a pin from a grenade—leading to a chain reaction of reforms and a heightened awareness of civil rights that would echo through history like a loudspeaker at a protest. Fact: Seven days without charge? That’s a vacation for some. Just kidding, it’s a violation of human rights!.
• Headline: Goldwater Says Johnson ‘Doesn't Understand’ Job. Impact: Goldwater's criticism of Johnson would set the tone for political discourse in America, leading to a long tradition of politicians not understanding their jobs, which we still see today. It's almost like they think being elected is just a popularity contest. Fact: The irony of a politician criticizing another for not understanding their job is like a fish calling a bird out for not swimming.
• Headline: Magazine Critical of Attacks On Goldwater by Clergymen. Impact: The magazine's defense of Goldwater would contribute to the ongoing culture war between politics and religion, leading to a series of public figures being roasted in the media—a trend that would only grow with the rise of the internet. Thanks, clergymen!. Fact: Nothing says 'I care' like a magazine article defending you. It's like getting a participation trophy in politics!.