SEPTEMBER 28, 1964

Full News Archive

• Headline: Alabama Firm Converts Two C-4 Freighters. Impact: The conversion of those freighters led to a secret supply chain for a future hipster coffee company, forever altering the caffeine consumption patterns of millennials. Who knew two ships could change the world of overpriced lattes?. Fact: Did you know that the first freighter was originally designed to carry goods, but ended up being repurposed into a floating coffee shop? I mean, why not?.
• Headline: Debate on Church's Role in Politics. Impact: This theological tug-of-war over politics in the pulpit caused a rift that eventually led to the invention of the church bingo night—a controversial event that brought more people than any sermon ever could. Who doesn't love a good bingo?. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more divisive than politics in the pulpit is the choice between hymns and contemporary Christian music..
• Headline: Kennedy Legacy Boosts Democrats' Election Chances. Impact: The so-called 'Kennedy Legacy' empowered Democrats to believe they could win elections through nostalgia alone, paving the way for countless 'Remember when?' campaigns that ultimately led to the rise of the reality TV star as a political candidate. Thanks, Kennedy!. Fact: Ever wondered why we keep talking about Kennedy? It's because nostalgia is the only currency left in politics..
• Headline: Robert Kennedy Says He Won't Read Report. Impact: Kennedy's refusal to read the report sparked a trend among politicians who thought it was cooler to be blissfully ignorant. This practice eventually culminated in a powerful new movement called 'Selective Apathy' that continues to thrive today.. Fact: Did you know that some politicians still believe that reading is overrated? Clearly, they missed the memo about knowledge being power..
• Headline: New Liederkranz Conductor. Impact: The appointment of J. Serebrier as conductor sparked a musical renaissance that led to the invention of the 'musical selfie'—a practice where you pretend to know classical music while actually just scrolling through your phone. Bravo!. Fact: Fun fact: The Liederkranz Symphony was originally just a bunch of people singing in the shower. Thank goodness for J. Serebrier!.
• Headline: Press and Dallas Police Blamed for Confusion That Permitted Slaying of Oswald; PANEL SUGGESTS A CODE OF ETHIGS; Statements From Officials Are Called Prejudicial to Fair Trial for Assassin. Impact: The blame game over Oswald's slaying created a deep-seated distrust in the media and law enforcement that still echoes today—leading to the birth of conspiracy theories and a generation convinced that the moon landing was staged.. Fact: Did you know that if media and police had just communicated better, we might not have a thriving industry dedicated to conspiracy theories? Thanks, Oswald!.
• Headline: Oswald's Act Held Consistent With Personality. Impact: By analyzing Oswald's personality, psychologists unlocked the secret to understanding why people sometimes act on impulse—leading to the rise of motivational speakers who use 'Just be yourself!' as a catchphrase. The irony is delicious.. Fact: Fun fact: Oswald's background checks were so thorough that they could have inspired a Netflix series on true crime. Spoiler alert: No one wins..
• Headline: Commission Says Ruby Acted Alone in Slaying. Impact: The commission's conclusion that Ruby acted alone effectively paved the way for every future conspiracy theorist's favorite pastime: coming up with alternate explanations that require a degree in quantum physics to understand.. Fact: Did you know that Ruby's decision to act alone was so shocking that it inspired countless 'What if?' scenarios that still haunt history classes today?.
• Headline: Shanley Criticizes the U.S. On ‘No‐Win’ Vietnam Policy. Impact: Shanley's criticism of the 'No-Win' Vietnam policy led to an influx of anti-war songs that got stuck in the heads of generations, forever intertwining politics with catchy melodies. Thanks for the earworms!. Fact: Fun fact: The phrase 'No Win' has since been adopted by countless video game developers who are just trying to make a buck off of our failure..
• Headline: Dean Renews Criticism. Impact: Johnson's pastor's public critique ignited a wave of political finger-pointing that eventually gave birth to the modern-day campaign strategy of throwing shade. If only they knew they were starting a trend!. Fact: Did you know that 'grave errors' in politics are often just polite ways of saying, 'Oops, I did it again'?.