SEPTEMBER 26, 1964

Full News Archive

• Headline: Pickets Demand Food Service Unionization. Impact: The picketing sparked a nationwide movement for food service workers' rights. In a bizarre twist, a century later, every cafeteria in America now features a unionized sandwich artist who demands artisanal bread and organic spreads.. Fact: Did you know that if food service workers had unionized sooner, we might have had gourmet dining in schools instead of mystery meat Mondays? Oh, what could have been!.
• Headline: C.A.B. Pulls License from Airlines. Impact: The suspension of the airline led to a massive increase in road trips, forever changing how Americans view long drives. This gave rise to the infamous 'Are we there yet?' phenomenon, which still haunts parents today.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more turbulent than this airline's suspension was the family vacation argument that followed? Buckle up, folks!.
• Headline: Cinerama Posts Loss Of $5.1 Million for Half. Impact: Cinerama's colossal loss not only reshaped the company but also paved the way for the rise of 3D movies, proving that sometimes, losing big can lead to spectacularly awkward cinematic experiences.. Fact: Did you know that losing over five million dollars is just a warm-up for Hollywood? It's like losing a game of Monopoly—just throw the money in the air and start again!.
• Headline: Alan Jay Lerner Obtains Order for Visitation Rights. Impact: Alan Jay Lerner's visitation rights battle inadvertently kickstarted a trend in Hollywood for dramatic family disputes, leading to reality TV show concepts like 'Divorce Court: The Musical.'. Fact: Did you know that obtaining visitation rights could have been a Broadway hit if only there were more singing and dancing involved? 'Visitation: The Musical' would have been a smash!.
• Headline: U.S. Withdraws Destroyers Involved in Tonkin Incident. Impact: The withdrawal of destroyers from the Tonkin incident sowed seeds of distrust that would ripple through U.S. foreign policy, leading to a generation of politicians who preferred to avoid the water altogether—shaping a future of landlocked debates.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more complicated than the Tonkin Incident itself was trying to explain it to your high school history teacher? Good luck with that!.
• Headline: Liberalized C.I.A. Pensions Are Approved in Senate. Impact: The approval of liberalized CIA pensions led to a new wave of retired spies living in luxury, ultimately resulting in the rise of 'spy retirees' who share their secrets over martinis—if you can find them.. Fact: Did you know that the CIA pension plan is probably the best-kept secret in the business? Even James Bond would be jealous!.
• Headline: KHANH PLACATING REBEL TRIBESMEN; Concessions, Urged by U.S., Are Reported Granted—New Coup Rumored. Impact: Khanh's concessions to rebel tribesmen set a precedent for future leaders to negotiate with their critics. One could say it was the birth of political diplomacy—where every deal comes with a side of existential dread.. Fact: Did you know that negotiating with rebel tribesmen is the political equivalent of trying to convince a cat to take a bath? Good luck with that!.
• Headline: City Hall Is Serenaded By Berlin Police Band. Impact: The serenade by the Berlin Police Band marked an odd moment in NYC's cultural history, paving the way for the bizarre tradition of police bands performing at parades, leading to several awkward standoffs between marching bands and subway performers.. Fact: Did you know that if the Berlin Police Band had played 'Rock Around the Clock,' it might have set off a dance battle that would still be talked about in New York today? Now that would be a parade!.