SEPTEMBER 13, 1964

Full News Archive

• Headline: Taylor's Unforeseen Return to Saigon. Impact: If Taylor had decided to take a leisurely cruise instead, the entire Vietnam War might have played out as a soothing travelogue, complete with Hawaiian shirt diplomacy.. Fact: Hawaii was so popular, they almost renamed it 'Saigon West.'.
• Headline: Keating Critiques Kennedy on Foreign Policy. Impact: Keating's dismissive attitude towards the Far East paved the way for future politicians to ignore entire regions, leading to an increased interest in vacation packages instead of international relations.. Fact: Politicians scoffing is a time-honored tradition—dating back to at least the Romans, who famously scoffed at the idea of a 'barbarian' invasion..
• Headline: One Shock After Another; WHEN THE EARTH TREMBLES. By Haroun Tazieff. Translated from the French, “Quand la Terre Tremble,” by Patrick O'Brian. Illustrated. 245 pp. New York: Harcourt. Brace & World. $4.95.. Impact: Tazieff's observations on earthquakes likely inspired future generations to take geology more seriously, ultimately leading to an increase in 'earthquake preparedness' kits that nobody ever uses.. Fact: Tazieff's book is so insightful that it has convinced some people that earthquakes are just the Earth trying to shake off a bad day..
• Headline: The Week in Finance; Wage Settlement by Chrysler Dispels Air of Caution and Spurs Stock Rally. Impact: The Chrysler wage settlement sent shockwaves through the economy, causing both a stock market rally and a sudden surge in people pretending to understand economics.. Fact: The term 'stock rally' is just Wall Street's way of saying, 'We found a reason to celebrate even though we’re all still confused.'.
• Headline: Bloody Past And Present; QUISQUEYA: A History of the Do­minican Republic. By Seiden Rod­man. Illustrated. 202 pp. Seattle: University of Washington Press. $5.95.. Impact: Rodman's historical perspective on the Dominican Republic has caused countless students to realize that their history textbooks gloss over some pretty bloody details, leading to a nationwide crisis of interest in actual history.. Fact: Quisqueya is a name that means 'mother of all lands' in Taíno—a title that has made other countries intensely jealous..
• Headline: Sports News. Impact: The sports news cycle perpetuates a culture where people care more about athletes than the actual events happening in the world, leading to a global obsession with fantasy leagues instead of fantasy diplomacy.. Fact: Sports news is basically just a bunch of people shouting about who is the fastest at throwing or kicking things..
• Headline: SCHOOL BOYCOTT HERE TOMORROW APPEARS CERTAIN; Demonstrators Ask for an 11th‐Hour Parley, but Bid Is Rejected by Donovan; PUPIL TIE‐UP OPPOSED; United Parents Criticize It —24‐Hour Vigil Planned by Integration Group. Impact: The school boycott highlighted the power of collective action, inadvertently inspiring future generations to think that protesting is the best way to get out of doing homework.. Fact: Boycotting school is considered a rite of passage for students, but they still have to deal with the 'what did you learn today?' questions at home..
• Headline: Miss Nickerson, 1956 Debutante, Is Future Bride; Radcliffe Alumna to Be Wed in December to Kurt Morgen. Impact: Miss Nickerson’s engagement solidified the age-old tradition of debutantes marrying well, which somehow still affects the dating landscape today—with way too many people still searching for 'the one' at cocktail parties.. Fact: Debutantes are basically just social media influencers of their time—only their 'likes' came in the form of marriage proposals..