AUGUST 29, 1964

Full News Archive

• Headline: Brownell to Lead Keating's Campaign Efforts. Impact: Brownell's appointment to Keating's campaign was the pivotal moment that led to a series of increasingly bizarre political ads, including a now-infamous one featuring a cat in a suit. This set the stage for the future of political campaigning to be dominated by internet memes. Fact: Fun fact: Brownell's campaign strategy was to just 'be more relatable,' which explains the cat suit.
• Headline: Duggan Triumphs in Trapshoot Showdown. Impact: Duggan's victory in the trapshooting competition unknowingly inspired the creation of competitive eating contests, as spectators wondered if shooting at clay pigeons could be more fun with hot dogs involved. Spoiler: it wasn't. Fact: Did you know that trapshooting was originally just a way to practice for hunting squirrels who stole corn? Just squirrels living their best lives.
• Headline: LEE OLWELL, 86, AN EX‐PUBLISHER; Head of Evening Journal for Four Years in 1930's Dies. Impact: Lee Olwell's passing marked the end of an era in publishing, leading to an unexpected boom in self-publishing. Had Olwell lived longer, he might have saved us all from the literary horrors of the 'self-help' genre. Fact: Before his death, Olwell famously claimed that newspapers were just 'wrapping paper for fish.' Quite the visionary, huh?.
• Headline: JONES AND WARD DRAW STIFF FINES; Accused of Ignoring Caution Flag in Milwaukee Race. Impact: The stiff fines imposed on Jones and Ward led to a collective realization that ignoring caution flags could lead to more thrilling races, igniting a dangerous trend in motorsport that continues to this day. Safety? Pfft, who needs it?. Fact: Jones later claimed he thought the caution flag was just a suggestion, like a polite way of asking, 'Hey, maybe slow down a bit?'.
• Headline: TURKS AGAIN RIOT AT US. EMBASSY; 3 Americans Are Beaten—Greek Legation Attacked—Makarios Visits Nasser. Impact: The riots at the U.S. Embassy marked a turning point in diplomatic relations, leading to the modern art of 'diplomatic protest' where nations express dissent through interpretive dance and awkward social media posts. Fact: Fun fact: The Greek Legation's attack was initially intended as a performance art piece, but things escalated quickly when someone threw a rock.
• Headline: EL SEGUNDO VICTOR IN WATER POLO TEST. Impact: El Segundo's victory in water polo trials was a key moment that led to the eventual rise of aquatic sports as a hot topic at hip parties. This ultimately contributed to the creation of water polo-themed cocktail mixers. Fact: Did you know that water polo was originally played with ducks? Just kidding, but wouldn’t that have been a sight?.
• Headline: Books of The Times; A Fiercely Entertaining Memoir of Youth in Ontario. Impact: The memoir about youth in Ontario became a sleeper hit, inspiring countless other authors to pen their own 'fiercely entertaining' tales of mundane childhoods, leading to the eventual rise of the 'boring memoir' genre. Fact: Interestingly, the book was originally titled 'The Life of a Kid Who Could Never Find His Shoes.'.