JULY 18, 1964

Full News Archive

• Headline: Future Meets Past in Literature Exploration. Impact: This article sparked a literary renaissance that led to the invention of the e-book, which subsequently caused people to forget how to read actual books. Thanks, technology!. Fact: Did you know that the wave of the future is often just the wave of the past wearing sunglasses and pretending to be cool?.
• Headline: Soviet Scientists Investigate Lake Labynkyr Monster. Impact: The search for the monster in Siberia inadvertently led to the creation of countless creature-feature films, making Hollywood the real monster in the end.. Fact: Did you know that if you say 'Lake Labynkyr' three times fast, you might summon a real-life monster? Just kidding, but why take the risk?.
• Headline: Producer's Lawsuit Over Bus Advertising Rights. Impact: This lawsuit set a precedent that would lead to the modern-day debate over advertising on public transportation, ultimately resulting in ads for everything from cat food to questionable diet pills on buses.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing that travels faster than a bus is a lawsuit? And probably the smell of that cat food!.
• Headline: U.S. Envoy to Turkey Helps Begin $41 Million Project. Impact: This project kicked off a trend of U.S. investment in foreign power stations, which eventually led to the rise of the 'Power Station Tour' industry. Who doesn't want to visit a power plant on vacation?. Fact: Did you know that power stations are the new trendy vacation spots? Forget Paris, it's all about Ambarli!.
• Headline: CITY SCHOOLS WIN NEW PAIRING TEST; Lincoln Sq. Parents Involved in First Manhattan Suit. Impact: The court ruling on school pairing led to a nationwide obsession with school choice that eventually resulted in parents competing to get their kids into the 'cool' schools, turning education into a reality TV show.. Fact: Did you know that school pairing is just a fancy term for 'let's see which parents can throw the most money at the problem?'.
• Headline: Drunk‐Driving Appeal Cites Redistricting Rule. Impact: This case was a pivotal moment that led to legal loopholes being exploited for decades, making 'drunk driving appeal' a buzzword in legal circles and a popular topic for sitcoms.. Fact: Did you know that drunk driving appeals are the legal equivalent of 'Do not pass go, do not collect $200?'.
• Headline: Yugoslavia Raises Prices Of Electricity and Foods. Impact: By raising prices, the Yugoslav government inadvertently ignited a revolution of discontent that would echo through the region, proving that people really hate paying more for their groceries.. Fact: Did you know that raising prices is like feeding a gremlin after midnight? Just a bad idea all around!.
• Headline: The Pot and the Kettle. Impact: This editorial somehow managed to inspire a thousand memes about hypocrisy, proving that sometimes the pot really does call the kettle black, especially in politics.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'the pot and the kettle' is actually a metaphor for politicians arguing? Who knew kitchenware could be so profound?.
• Headline: Germans Fire Missile. Impact: The missile launch marked a pivotal moment in Cold War tensions, leading to a decade of missile envy that would inspire every action movie ever made.. Fact: Did you know that missiles are just the Cold War's version of 'my dad can beat up your dad?'.