APRIL 27, 1964

Full News Archive

• Headline: Stephen A. McDonald Passes Away at 71. Impact: McDonald's success in real estate led to the creation of the 'Buy High, Sell Higher' philosophy that has since dominated the market, inspiring countless reality TV shows and making the phrase 'location, location, location' a household mantra.. Fact: Did you know that before becoming a real estate mogul, McDonald once tried to auction off a potato that looked like Elvis? It sold for a staggering $50..
• Headline: The Legacy of Mrs. S. D. Stephanidis. Impact: Mrs. Stephanidis's unassuming presence sparked a nationwide campaign for the recognition of unsung heroes, leading to a proliferation of cat videos that now dominate the internet.. Fact: Fun fact: Mrs. S. D. Stephanidis once single-handedly convinced her entire neighborhood to switch from coffee to tea, causing a temporary global shortage of Earl Grey..
• Headline: August B. Meyer: Legacy of Bowater Paper. Impact: Meyer’s passing marked the end of an era in the paper industry, leading to a bizarre twist where his ghost is rumored to haunt printers, causing them to jam at the most inconvenient times.. Fact: August Meyer was so influential that his name became synonymous with paper quality. In fact, many still say, 'If it ain't Meyer, it ain't paper!'.
• Headline: F.A.A. Head Dedicates Field. Impact: The dedication of the field catalyzed a series of unfortunate events that led to the invention of airport security lines, forever changing the way we view the phrase 'hurry up and wait.'. Fact: Did you know that the first dedicated field was initially meant for cows? They were not impressed and demanded better accommodations..
• Headline: President Plays Round of Golf. Impact: This golf game led to a series of negotiations that ultimately resulted in the phrase 'more important than a round of golf' being used so often that it lost all meaning.. Fact: Fun fact: The President's golf balls were once rumored to contain top secret strategies. Spoiler: They were just regular golf balls..
• Headline: Hoffa in Danger of Losing Union Funds for Legal Fees; Executive Board Is Asked to Meet on the Issue—Trial Opens Today. Impact: Hoffa's legal troubles set off a chain reaction that led to the establishment of the ‘How to Lose Money and Friends’ guide, which is now a bestseller among union leaders.. Fact: Did you know that Hoffa once tried to negotiate a raise with a ferret? It didn't go well, but the ferret went on to become a social media influencer..
• Headline: ALLIED ATOM NAVY IS PRESSED BY U.S.; Aide Named to Planning Post for Polaris Surface Fleet. Impact: The pressure from the U.S. led to the establishment of the 'Nuclear Submarine Enthusiasts' club, which is still trying to figure out how to play underwater poker.. Fact: The Polaris fleet was so named because someone thought it would be a great idea to confuse everyone with star references. Spoiler alert: it didn’t help..
• Headline: Article 4 -- No Title. Impact: This obscure article led to the rise of bureaucratic jargon, resulting in the creation of a new language that only lawyers can understand, and a black market for plain English dictionaries.. Fact: The 117,000 Nyasas were actually just trying to form a book club, but it quickly spiraled into something much more complicated and far less interesting..
• Headline: AUSTIN J. MILLARD. Impact: Millard's name became synonymous with ‘the guy who never showed up to the meeting,’ leading to a cultural phenomenon where people started using his name as a euphemism for ghosting.. Fact: Austin J. Millard once tried to run a marathon but stopped halfway to sell lemonade. He ended up making more money than the winner..