APRIL 14, 1964

Full News Archive

• Headline: New Leadership at the Metropolitan Opera. Impact: The election of Mrs. A.G. Oliphant as president set off a chain reaction in the arts world, eventually leading to a future where opera singers are required to have PhDs in dramatic arts and marketing skills. Who knew opera could be so... corporate?. Fact: Did you know that opera can actually be a great way to get people to fall asleep? Just ask anyone who’s ever attended a performance..
• Headline: Democrats Designate Marro To Make Civil Court Race. Impact: Senator Marro's designation stirred a political pot that would eventually boil over into the creation of even more confusing court titles, leading to a future where judges are so named they sound more like characters from a soap opera.. Fact: Did you know that naming judicial positions is a lot like naming pets? If you get it wrong, you might end up with a cat named Judge Whiskers..
• Headline: State Department Creates Post on African Economics. Impact: The creation of a post for African economics led to a future where economic advisors are so influential that they'd be consulted on everything from trade agreements to what color to paint the office walls.. Fact: Did you know that the economy is like a roller coaster? If you hold on tight, you might just survive the ride without losing your lunch..
• Headline: Hoffa Loses Bid to Delay Trial on Fraud Charges. Impact: Hoffa’s trial delay loss set off a series of events that would ultimately inspire future criminals to avoid trials altogether and instead opt for dramatic escape plans, which never seem to work out well in the movies.. Fact: Did you know that in the grand scheme of things, getting caught is just a plot twist in the ongoing saga of criminal mischief?.
• Headline: EAST SIDE SCHOOL BUYS TWO HOUSES; Lycee Francais Gets Noted Homes on E. 72d St.. Impact: The East Side School’s purchase of two mansions marked the beginning of a trend where educational institutions would start accumulating real estate like Pokémon cards, leading to a future where schools are more like real estate moguls than centers of learning.. Fact: Did you know that real estate in Manhattan is more valuable than gold? It's like Monopoly, but with real money and actual consequences..
• Headline: Cuban Economic Troubles Called a Brake on Castro; The following article is by a correspondent of The New York Times who recently returned after two months in Cuba.. Impact: Cuba's economic troubles under Castro led to a series of revolutions that would eventually inspire a new genre of music: Reggae of Resistance. Who knew economic despair could fuel such catchy tunes?. Fact: Did you know that sometimes, the best music comes from the worst situations? Just ask every sad song writer ever..
• Headline: NEW U. S. EMBASSY IN MEXICO OPERATING. Impact: The opening of the new U.S. embassy in Mexico led to a future where diplomats had to learn how to make tacos and do the salsa, because nothing says diplomacy like a good dance-off and delicious food.. Fact: Did you know that embassies are just like cultural potlucks? Everyone brings their best dish, and you really hope it’s not tuna casserole..