MARCH 20, 1964

Full News Archive

• Headline: First Auto Tunnel Opens in the Alps. Impact: The opening of this tunnel set off a chain reaction of tunnel fever across Europe. Soon, every country was digging their own, leading to a massive underground network, which eventually turned into a secret society of tunnel dwellers. They only emerge for cheese and wine.. Fact: This tunnel cost $35.2 million, which is about the same amount the average person spends on coffee in their lifetime. Priorities, right?.
• Headline: Food Bill Advances Amidst Uncertain Outcomes. Impact: The delay in food stamp legislation led to a decade of confusion over grocery shopping, resulting in the rise of underground food co-ops where everyone pretended they were 'farm-to-table,' even if they lived in a studio apartment.. Fact: Food stamps have been around since the 1930s, proving that bureaucratic delays are a timeless tradition in American politics. Who knew?.
• Headline: Salinger Resigns; Hints Senate Race; Reedy Is Successor. Impact: Salinger’s resignation sparked a political scramble that inspired the creation of a new genre of political thrillers, where every candidate secretly has a penchant for writing existential novels. Spoiler: they all lose.. Fact: Salinger’s life was so mysterious that even he needed a press secretary to keep track of his own secrets. Talk about needing a ghostwriter!.
• Headline: KILLING OF CHILDREN BY NAZIS DESCRIBED. Impact: The testimonies from survivors galvanized global human rights movements, leading to the establishment of various organizations dedicated to preventing such atrocities. A painful reminder that history’s darkness can forge the light of justice.. Fact: The stories from survivors continue to haunt historians and remind us of the importance of memory and education. Ignorance is not bliss; it's a recipe for repeating the past..
• Headline: MEANY TELLS OF AIMS IN BOND CLUB TALK. Impact: Meany’s speech at the Bond Club ignited a series of labor movements that forever changed the landscape of American worker rights. Meanwhile, the Bond Club became the go-to spot for labor leaders looking to swap insider trading tips.. Fact: Labor leaders discussing free enterprise is like cats discussing how to avoid getting wet. Spoiler: they’re all going to get wet eventually..
• Headline: Text of President Johnson's Foreign Aid Message to Congress. Impact: Johnson's foreign aid message became a cornerstone for U.S. diplomatic relations, leading to decades of foreign policies that either built bridges or burned them, depending on who was in charge at the time.. Fact: Johnson's foreign aid message was so lengthy that some Congress members reportedly used it to prop up wobbly tables. Talk about multitasking!.
• Headline: Article 2 -- No Title. Impact: The rumor that Bormann was alive in Brazil sparked endless conspiracy theories that led to an entire genre of 'Where Are They Now?' documentaries, forever changing the world of speculative history.. Fact: Conspiracy theories about Nazis hiding in South America have inspired more movies than actual historical films. Who needs facts when you’ve got drama?.
• Headline: Pauling Loses Libel Fight Against Paper in St. Louis. Impact: Pauling’s loss in this libel case fueled debates about free speech and scientific integrity, influencing generations of scientists to tread carefully when speaking against the media. Everyone learned that truth can be subjective, especially when lawyers are involved.. Fact: Pauling was a two-time Nobel Prize winner, proving that even genius doesn’t always win in court. Sometimes, it's just a matter of who has the best lawyer..