MARCH 16, 1964

Full News Archive

• Headline: Ex-Senator Mead of New York Passes Away. Impact: If only Senator Mead had survived, perhaps he would have single-handedly averted the rise of the next wave of political influencers—like that one guy who thought tweets were a form of legislative debate.. Fact: Did you know that Mead was known for saying 'There's no such thing as bad publicity'? Clearly, he was wrong on that one..
• Headline: Reassessing Automation's Impact on Jobs. Impact: This realization sparked an entire generation of workers who thought they were safe from robots, only to be replaced by self-checkout machines at grocery stores.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'automation' was originally coined by a guy who just wanted to avoid doing his own laundry?.
• Headline: CAMBODIANS GET PEKING ARMS AID; Sihanouk Tells China Envoy 2 Armies ‘Extend Hands’—Denies Aggressive Aims. Impact: This arms aid paradoxically led to a diplomatic tango where both sides danced around the truth, ultimately setting the stage for globally awkward military alliances.. Fact: Norodom Sihanouk was truly optimistic; he must have been the original glass-half-full kind of leader, despite the whole 'getting arms from China' situation..
• Headline: Drew Theological Appoints Dean. Impact: This appointment inadvertently paved the way for future theological debates over whether a dean can truly be considered 'the boss' of a higher power.. Fact: Fun fact: Rev Dr Ranson was known for his catchy motto, 'In God we trust, but in deans, we discuss.'.
• Headline: STUDENT MARCHERS DISPERSED IN LISBON. Impact: This event set off a chain reaction of student protests worldwide, leading to the modern phenomenon of students being the loudest voices in political discourse—because who else would care about the future?. Fact: Did you know that marching doesn't only burn calories but also fuels a long tradition of making governments a little nervous?.
• Headline: News Analysis; Two Lyndon Johnsons; Political Tactician Gives Way on TV To Quiet, Almost Fatherly Philosopher. Impact: This transformation led to a slew of politicians trying to adopt a 'softer' image, culminating in the era of selfie-obsessed leaders trying way too hard to be relatable.. Fact: Did you know that Lyndon Johnson once said, 'I’ll have the last word'? Spoiler alert: he didn’t..
• Headline: Caracas Holds Gas Terrorists. Impact: The police action against these terrorists sparked a wave of international discussions about security, potentially leading to the invention of more secure gas stations—because nothing says safety like a well-armed cashier.. Fact: Fun fact: 'Gas terrorists' is just a fancy way to say 'people who don’t know how to use a gas pump properly.'.