MARCH 12, 1964

Full News Archive

• Headline: G.O.P. Supports Goldwater Over Lodge. Impact: The grassroots G.O.P. sticking to their guns meant that the party would oscillate through decades like a pendulum, ultimately leading to the rise of social media influencers in politics. Thank you, Goldwater!. Fact: Did you know that political favorites are just like high school crushes? They usually end up being the most embarrassing part of your life..
• Headline: Rockefeller's Denial of New Hampshire Rejection. Impact: Rockefeller denying rejection set a precedent for future politicians to use denial as a coping mechanism. Who knew 'I’m fine!' would become the national mantra?. Fact: In politics, denial is more than just a river in Egypt; it's a full-blown national strategy!.
• Headline: De Gaulle's Cyprus Proposal Insights. Impact: De Gaulle's Cyprus proposal led to a ripple effect of international diplomacy where nations realized that sometimes, it’s easier to negotiate than to just throw a party and hope everyone gets along.. Fact: Fun fact: The last time anyone tried to sort out Cyprus without an international force, it was during a particularly messy Thanksgiving dinner..
• Headline: OSWALD'S CAR MATE IS HEARD BY INQUIRY. Impact: The inquiry into Oswald's car mate sparked a series of conspiracy theories, leading to the infamous 'Did he or didn’t he?' game that would haunt historians and film directors for decades.. Fact: Did you know that carpooling can sometimes lead to national intrigue? Just ask B.W. Frazier!.
• Headline: Mexico Seizes 19 in Drug Ring. Impact: Mexico's seizure of a drug ring laid the groundwork for a future where drug cartels would become as essential to the economy as avocado toast is to millennials.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more resilient than a drug ring is the avocado market?.
• Headline: Sihanouk Apologizes for Riots; Drops Plan for 4‐Power Talks. Impact: Sihanouk’s apology for riots became a case study in 'How to Apologize Without Actually Saying Sorry,' which future leaders would masterfully exploit.. Fact: Did you know that apologizing in politics is like using a band-aid on a broken leg? It might cover the wound but it sure won't fix it!.
• Headline: NIXON NOTES ROLE AS A CAMPAIGNER; Says He Is Best Qualified to Oppose Johnson but Denies He Is in Race. Impact: Nixon's remarks on campaigning foreshadowed a future where political campaigns would resemble reality TV shows more than actual governance. Thank you, Richard!. Fact: Did you know that in politics, ‘the best qualified’ is just code for ‘I can make the most memes’?.
• Headline: Zanzibar Regime Expels Okello; He Headed Revolutionary Army. Impact: Zanzibar’s expulsion of Okello served as a warning that in revolutionary movements, being too good at your job can get you kicked out faster than you can say 'overthrow.'. Fact: Fun fact: Being a revolutionary leader can be a bit like a game of musical chairs—when the music stops, you better hope you have a seat..
• Headline: BROADCASTERS HEAR DIRECTOR OF U.S.I.A.. Impact: Broadcasters hearing from the U.S.I.A. would eventually lead to a cascade of media regulations, resulting in the modern era where everyone's a broadcaster with a smartphone and a questionable opinion.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing worse than hearing from a director is hearing from a director while trying to eat your lunch in peace?.