MARCH 2, 1964

Full News Archive

• Headline: Pilot Rescued by Cubans Returns Home. Impact: This rescue operation sparked a secret society of pilots who now carry emergency Cuban rum for all future rescues—because, why not? Rum is the universal language of gratitude.. Fact: Did you know that Cuba has been a popular spot for plane emergencies? It’s either the warm weather or the rum—scientists are still debating..
• Headline: International Flavors Hits the NYSE. Impact: This event led to an explosion of international cuisine in bland corporate boardrooms. Now, who would have thought a stock listing could make peanut butter sandwiches passé?. Fact: Surprise! The only flavor that wasn't included on the Big Board was 'Tasteless Corporate Jargon.'.
• Headline: Mad Major's Flying Days Cut Short. Impact: The revocation of Major Draper's pilot's license sent shockwaves through the aviation community, leading to a global movement to create a 'Fly Under Bridges' recreational license. Who knew that flying under bridges could inspire a new hobby?. Fact: Maj Draper was known for his daring feats—perhaps he should have just stuck to model airplanes..
• Headline: State Capitol Moves To Restrict Entries. Impact: The tightening of security at the NYS Capitol resulted in an increase in creative ways for lobbyists to sneak in, including disguises, grappling hooks, and a suspiciously large number of pizza deliveries.. Fact: Fun fact: Security measures at government buildings often lead to more inventive ways to sneak in than actual security improvements..
• Headline: Wilson and Harriman Confer. Impact: This conference led to the establishment of the 'Two Men in a Room' Club, where they discuss the fate of the world while enjoying complimentary coffee and stale donuts.. Fact: Did you know that most political conferences are just an excuse for men in suits to enjoy coffee without a toddler pulling at their pants?.
• Headline: News Analysis; Dull Days in Albany; 1964 Legislature May Be Remembered As the Most Lackluster in Many Years. Impact: The 1964 Albany Legislature’s dullness led to the invention of a new sport: watching paint dry, which became a favorite pastime for local residents.. Fact: Fun fact: ‘Lackluster’ is now a term used to describe both the Albany Legislature and your last date..
• Headline: 83 FOUND KILLED IN ALPS AIR CRASH; British Craft Hit Peak Near Innsbruck and Exploded. Impact: This tragedy pushed the aviation industry to improve safety standards, eventually leading to the creation of a 'no flying near Alps without a parachute' regulation. Who knew a disaster could lead to more cautious flying?. Fact: The Alps are beautiful but also notoriously unforgiving; it's almost like nature's way of saying, 'You can look, but don’t touch.'.
• Headline: Governor Picketed by Foes Of Search and Seizure Bills. Impact: The picketing sparked a nationwide trend of using picketing as a form of fitness. Now, thousands of 'picketing aerobics' classes are held weekly, complete with signs and chants.. Fact: Picketing is the only exercise that allows you to burn calories while simultaneously being frustrated about politics..
• Headline: Lincoln G. Clark Becomes Fiance Of Louise Wolff; Son of Amy Vanderbilt to Marry Centenary Senior in July. Impact: This engagement set off a chain reaction of wedding planning disasters, leading to a new reality show: 'Bridezilla: The Vanderbilt Edition.'. Fact: Did you know that wedding planning is statistically proven to be more stressful than running a small country? Who knew love could be so complicated?.