FEBRUARY 10, 1964

Full News Archive

• Headline: Tug Strike Uncertainty Looms Over Union. Impact: The union's pessimism regarding the tug strike created a ripple effect that would lead to a dramatic increase in coffee consumption among workers, sparking a caffeine-fueled revolution in labor negotiations. Workers united over strong brews, not strong arguments. Fact: Wagner might have been called, but no one ever called him 'early,' did they? Timing is everything in labor disputes.
• Headline: Chicago Studies Policy. Impact: Chicago's policy studies on integration served as a slow-motion train wreck that would inspire countless debates for decades. Spoiler alert: the train never really reached its destination. Fact: Studies show that talking about integration and actually doing something about it are two entirely different sports. Who knew?.
• Headline: OREGON CAMPAIGN CHEERS GOVERNOR; Rockefeller Now to Stress New Hampshire Race. Impact: Rockefeller's cheers in Oregon and his subsequent stress on New Hampshire laid the groundwork for future politicians to believe that winning over one state guarantees universal love. Spoiler: it doesn't. Fact: If we all applauded our travels as much as Rockefeller did, we'd have a lot more enthusiastic vacation slides to sit through during family dinners!.
• Headline: Debate Over Strangelove Film Echoes Happily at the Box Office. Impact: The debate over the Strangelove film sparked a cultural revolution that led to countless awkward conversations about the nature of love and war. Fast forward a few decades, and you've got hipster film critics trying to dissect the true meaning of 'dude, where's my car?'. Fact: The only thing more bizarre than the film was the fact that people were willing to argue about it instead of just watching it and laughing. Oh, the irony!.
• Headline: SENATORS REPORT ON U.S.‐FLAG LAWS; Note Tightening of Policy on Federally Generated Cargo. Impact: The tightening of U.S. flag laws on federally generated cargo led to a surge in citizens desperately wanting to wrap themselves in anything red, white, and blue. Who knew shipping policies could inspire a fashion trend?. Fact: Senators report on U.S. flag laws, but no one reported on how many people were confused about whether they were supposed to salute when hearing about them.
• Headline: NEGRO BITTERNESS SAID TO INCREASE; Parley Is Told of a Growing Alienation From Whites. Impact: The escalating bitterness among Negro intellectuals set off a chain reaction that would eventually change the landscape of civil rights activism. The more things change, the more they stay the same, right?. Fact: Funny how the more educated someone is, the more they realize how little of their education matters in the grand scheme of societal change. Isn't life full of surprises?.
• Headline: Engan of Norway Captures 90‐Meter Ski jumping as Winter Olympics End; KANKKONEN FALLS ON FINAL ATTEMPT; Finn Finishes Second on Big Hill as 70,000 Look On—Americans Far Back. Impact: Engan's ski jumping victory at the Winter Olympics inspired a new generation of thrill-seekers to believe they, too, could fly—until reality hit them and they realized that the only thing they could jump off was their couch. Fact: In case you were wondering, falling on your final attempt is a great metaphor for life. Just ask anyone who's ever tried skiing!.
• Headline: Emerson Buckley Given Ditson Conducting Award. Impact: Emerson Buckley's Ditson Conducting Award led to a surge in orchestras trying to outdo each other, ultimately resulting in the modern interpretation of orchestral music becoming a terrifying blend of chaos and pretentiousness. Fact: Getting an award for conducting is like being recognized for just showing up to the gym. Congratulations on your effort, I guess!.