DECEMBER 21, 1963

Full News Archive

• Headline: Britain Acquires Film Distribution Company. Impact: This purchase led to a chain reaction in the film industry, where independent filmmakers began using interpretative dance as a form of protest, resulting in the first-ever dance-off between producers and distributors in 1987.. Fact: The only thing more dramatic than this acquisition was the dramatic irony of independent producers realizing they would have to actually produce something independently..
• Headline: Britain Rejects Textile Export Restrictions. Impact: Britain's rejection of textile quotas set off a global wool shortage, leading to the rise of synthetic fibers. This ultimately resulted in the invention of the polyester jumpsuit, which would haunt humanity for decades.. Fact: Fun fact: The last time Britain was this stubborn about textiles, they decided to keep their tea taxes. Spoiler alert: It didn't end well..
• Headline: Kennedy Memorial Albums Break Sales Records. Impact: The popularity of these albums caused an unprecedented spike in vinyl production, leading to a future where hipsters would one day ironically lament the 'good old days' of record players.. Fact: Who knew that the sound of a dead president's voice would become the soundtrack to so many awkward college parties?.
• Headline: Governor Sets Job Parley With Negro Clerical Group. Impact: This meeting sparked a movement that eventually led to the establishment of diversity training programs—because apparently, it took a few decades for people to realize that inclusion is not just a buzzword.. Fact: It's fascinating how a meeting can sometimes lead to real change… or just a lot of coffee being consumed..
• Headline: Spain Is Cautioned by U.S. On Rise in Cuban Trade; She Is Reminded of Ban on Aid to Nations Dealing With Castro--Madrid and Havana Said to Seek Increase SPAIN CAUTIONED ON TIES TO CUBA. Impact: This caution led to a decades-long game of diplomatic chicken, where Spain and the U.S. played a friendly game of 'who can ignore the embargo better?' and still somehow ended up with tapas.. Fact: It's always amusing how the U.S. can remind countries of bans while simultaneously having 'friendly' relations with other, less-than-friendly regimes..
• Headline: U.S. Is Increasing Tin Stockpile Sales. Impact: The increased sales of tin stockpiles led to an unexpected rise in the popularity of tin foil hats, as conspiracy theorists everywhere declared it the new must-have accessory for safeguarding against government mind control.. Fact: Tin: the metal that was once essential for your grandmother’s kitchen and now doubles as a fashion statement for the paranoid..
• Headline: Wagner Meets Johnson but Bars Politics as Topic; WAGNER CONFERS WITH PRESIDENT. Impact: This meeting set a precedent for future political leaders, resulting in a bizarre trend where they would meet to discuss everything but the actual issues at hand—because, you know, why bother?. Fact: A meeting where they talk about anything but politics? Now that’s a revolutionary concept! Next, they'll be discussing the weather..
• Headline: Hearing Put Off to Jan. 3 In Killing of College Youth. Impact: The delay in the hearing created a ripple effect, causing local coffee shops to see a spike in late-night study sessions, as students scrambled to distract themselves from the grim reality of their surroundings.. Fact: It's always fascinating how the justice system's calendar operates on a schedule that seems more chaotic than your average college syllabus..
• Headline: 'FANNY HILL' SALE BRINGS JAIL TERM; But Sentence Is Stayed to Allow For an Appeal Corporate Owner. Impact: This legal debacle ignited a movement for artistic freedom, leading to a series of bizarre court cases in the future where books were tried for obscenity, and authors became the rockstars of the literary world.. Fact: Who knew that selling a book about a woman's exploits would lead to more drama than any soap opera? Clearly, literature was the original reality TV..