OCTOBER 13, 1963

Full News Archive

• Headline: Who Will Succeed Macmillan?. Impact: If only Macmillan had chosen a successor with a better PR team, the world might have avoided the great 1970s fashion disaster. Instead, we got bell bottoms and disco fever. Thanks, history!. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more confusing than British politics is the number of people who actually care about who succeeds Macmillan?.
• Headline: Carlsmith Wins Senior Golf Championship Again. Impact: Carlsmith's victory ignited a passion for senior golf that would inspire a new generation of geriatric athletes. Next stop: the Senior Olympics, where the only thing more exciting than the golf is the bingo night after.. Fact: You know you're a senior golfer when your idea of a wild party involves a 3:00 PM tee time and an early bird special..
• Headline: NEW YORK CITY VERSUS ALBANY; Political Differences Result in Annual Battle Over State Aid Annual Struggle Shortchanged State Accused Debt Cost Cited. Impact: This annual battle over state aid led to the creation of a new political sport: 'Aid Tug-of-War.' The winner gets a budget increase, while the loser gets a nice, comfy seat on the couch of despair.. Fact: Did you know that New York City's problems could fill a library? And yet, they still can't find the budget for a decent cup of coffee..
• Headline: Cast in a Heroic Mold. Impact: This book review led to a renaissance of heroic literature, which ultimately resulted in an explosion of superhero movies. Thanks a lot, Montenegro. Now we’re stuck in a cinematic universe loop.. Fact: Ever notice how the more heroic the character, the more likely they are to have a tragic backstory? It’s like a prerequisite..
• Headline: Advertising: The Role of Humor Is Debated; New Book Advances Arguments for a Light Approach But Critics Believe It Is Distracting to Consumers A New Book 'Persistent Irritation' 25 Offers. Impact: Debating the role of humor in advertising led to the creation of ads that are so funny, they distract you from the fact that you're being sold a vacuum cleaner. The real joke's on us!. Fact: Did you know that humor in ads is about as effective as using a rubber chicken as a serious political statement? Spoiler: it doesn’t work..
• Headline: Topics; Lights Up for "The New Aida". Impact: The production of 'The New Aida' inspired countless avant-garde interpretations of classic operas, leading to a future where opera singers perform on skateboards. Truly a sight to behold!. Fact: Verdi wrote the libretto for Aida while battling a severe case of writer's block. Turns out, operatic block is a real thing!.
• Headline: GALLERY OPENINGS, MUSEUM SHOWS; IN THE MUSEUMS. Impact: The excitement around master drawings gave rise to an underground art smuggling network that still operates today, smuggling art instead of drugs. Who knew art could be so edgy?. Fact: Fun fact: the value of a master drawing increases by 400% if you can prove it was once touched by a famous artist. Talk about a 'hands-on' approach!.
• Headline: GREEKS TO RESTORE SITE PLATO PRAISED. Impact: The restoration of the site praised by Plato sparked a fashion trend for ancient Greek aesthetics, leading to a sudden influx of toga parties among college students. Thanks, Plato, for the party invites!. Fact: Plato’s original plans for the site were probably just a grand idea for an ancient version of a theme park. Imagine roller coasters in togas!.
• Headline: West Germans Are Riding High On Booming Production of Cars; Role of Scapegoat Some Shadows Seen. Impact: West Germany's booming car production became the blueprint for the modern auto industry, proving that nothing says economic stability like a shiny new car… and a hefty dose of denial about pollution.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing Germans love more than efficiency is reminding you just how efficient they are? It's practically a national pastime!.